S5E7 Is Taylor Swift a Satanic Clones? With Comedian Ally Noel

[00:00:00] Cat: If you had a clone, what would you make it do?

[00:00:02] Dwayne: Easy, my. I'd make it do my laundry, my taxes, and, uh, go to movies I didn't want to go to. With people I didn't want to go with. Okay. Um.

[00:00:15] Koji: Why don't you just now go to the movies, then?

[00:00:16] Dwayne: Well, you know, I mean, just sometimes you get, like, for instance, I'm supposed to help a friend get a picture tomorrow, like, uh, a large picture frame thingy. And I have a small SUV, so. So that would be something I'd have my clone do.

[00:00:29] Cat: Okay.

[00:00:30] Dwayne: Yeah. Yeah.

[00:00:30] Cat: See? Same here. Kind of. Except for I would have it do my day job, which, as you guys know, I'm a data scientist, so I would have it do that that way outside, I could write screenplays or comedy and do my art.

[00:00:43] Dwayne: That's kind of cool. Yeah. Same thing. I mean, I would not only do that, I would listen to music, all the fun stuff, but I wouldn't just, like, trust them. You know, we'd have to, like, sit down and just. Okay, what did you do? You know what I mean?

[00:00:54] Cat: That's kind of how I work with my AI, though. Whenever I work with, like, Claude or ChatGPT, I'm like, okay, show me what you did. No, that wasn't it. Let's try again.

[00:01:03] Dwayne: Right, right.

[00:01:04] Koji: My original answer was to drive to Corona. My son goes to school in Corona now, so I have to drive my ass out there every day. Um, so that would be the first thing. But then you guys inspired me. I have a clone to do a bunch of different jobs, and then I get paid from each of those people doing a job, and I don't have to do anything.

[00:01:18] Dwayne: Could also use your clone in a hookup situation. You know what I mean?

[00:01:21] Koji: I mean, is it cheating if my clone hooks up with another girl?

[00:01:24] Dwayne: Well, no. Your clone goes first. And then. And then. Right. Because, like, if your clone is just like you, maybe. Maybe you don't finish. Maybe, you know, your time isn't so great, right? So you let your clone finish up, go to the bathroom, tap out, and you come out like I'm ready to go again. And then she's like, well, that was quick. But you regenerate. Time is pretty dope, so I'll allow it.

[00:01:45] Cat: Oh, okay.

[00:01:46] Koji: So now with some stranger, some they'd have to be with. We're talking about.

[00:01:49] Dwayne: If you're hooking up with someone. It doesn't have to be a stranger. I mean, it could be. Basically, it's just your clone is doing the first.

[00:01:57] Koji: Got it, got it, got it. Just to be clear though, it's not.

[00:02:00] Dwayne: Like you're 18 again.

[00:02:00] Koji: It's not cheating if it's same sex or different species. That's the rule just.

[00:02:06] Dwayne: Is that is that some kind of rule?

[00:02:07] Koji: That's a rule.

[00:02:07] Dwayne: Yeah. I didn't know that rule.

[00:02:10] Cat: Now I'm thinking like if I had a bad date, would I make the clone do stuff with the guy? And I think the answer is no. I wouldn't subject myself or the clone to that. 

[00:02:19] Koji: Ally. What would you do if you had a clone.

[00:02:20] Ally: Oh my God, I didn't know if I get to talk. And so I was like, this is great. And then so but then you guys were looking at me like, jump in. And I was like, I don't think it's time yet. And then I was hi, so I would have my clone do, um, go to my family functions. that's what I would have it do because I always leave after 15 minutes. But this clone would stay a long time, Yeah.

[00:02:40] Dwayne: I don't want to put your business out there, but sometimes you go out to the IE or, like, Palm Desert or something like that.

[00:02:46] Ally: Palm Springs? Yeah.

[00:02:47] Dwayne: Would you go out there, would you have your clone go out there? I have like you like going out there, I don't know.

[00:02:51] Ally: Oh, okay. I love my uncle. So I will go to those, uh, to the IE. To my parents and my grandparents. To the ones who are ashamed that I didn't go to college, I'd send the clone I see right away. Yes, but the crazy uncle, I'd go in person.

[00:03:11] Koji: Welcome to the unofficial official story. This is episode number seven of season number five. Join us as we dive into the quirky, mysterious, and bizarre. From unsolved mysteries to peculiar pop culture phenomena, we uncover hidden stories and explore alternate realities. My name is Koji Swift because Taylor's gonna ask me to marry.

[00:03:31] Dwayne: Are you gonna take her name?

[00:03:32] Koji: I'm gonna totally take her. I mean, if a billionaire asked me to marry and and and my my wife and I,

[00:03:37] Dwayne: What name is she gonna take?

[00:03:38] Koji: No, my wife and I have an agreement that if a billionaire wants to marry us,

[00:03:42] Ally: Marry us?

[00:03:43] Koji: Marry me. Any of either of us. Yeah. We could get divorced.

[00:03:47] Ally: Oh.

[00:03:48] Koji: Yeah, I actually, she doesn't. We don't have that arrangement, but I'm sure she'd be okay.

[00:03:54] Dwayne: Pretty fair.

[00:03:55] Koji: She's gonna listen to this and be like, we don't have that arrangement. But. But she'll be paid handsomely, so.

[00:04:01] Cat: Ah, okay.

[00:04:03] Ally: Wait. Oh. So she still gets what? She's getting the alimony that you were giving her because you're divorced?

[00:04:07] Koji: I mean, I just I mean, Taylor's a billionaire. She could get a lot of money, right?

[00:04:10] Dwayne: I think you'd have to. I think I like this plan, but you'd have to take a gander at the prenup.

[00:04:15] Ally: Yeah, I, I see there's no billionaire.

[00:04:17] Koji: What would I tell my son all the time is if you're richer, then obviously, you know, there's no prenup. You have to love me. But if I'm richer. No, no, no.

[00:04:25] Dwayne: Yeah, but if you're billionaire, employed your same strategy, then he or she would have a prenup that you'd have to sign.

[00:04:32] Koji: I'm not signing no prenuptial agreement.

[00:04:34] Dwayne: Oh, interesting.

[00:04:35] Ally: Wait, so you're not signing? So if Taylor comes to you with a prenup, you're not signing it?

[00:04:39] Koji: No. She has to love me.And my. Whatever. She needs to pay off my wife. That's my dowry.

[00:04:44] Ally: Oh my God.

[00:04:45] Cat: Well, you know what a fantasy is a fantasy,

[00:04:47] Ally: Isn't it? I'm a little more realistic because I have hopes of marrying Robert Downey Jr or, you know, Robert De Niro. I don't know all the Robs. 

[00:04:56] Dwayne: De Niro. He's up there.

[00:04:57] Ally: Oh, my. But he loves black women.

[00:04:59] Dwayne: He does.

[00:04:59] Koji: Rob Schneider.

[00:04:59] Ally: He loves his sisters when I.

[00:05:01] Dwayne: I don't know about if Schneider. I know Schneider I don't know if he. I don't know what he likes, but I know he's, uh. I know how he votes.

[00:05:09] Koji: All right, Cat, go ahead.

[00:05:10] Cat: I'm Cat Kelsey. Just kidding. Um, I'm just copying Koji. Uh, I'm Cat Sherlock Holmes is really what I am because I've been listening to the new Taylor Swift album, and I've been uncovering all kinds of mysteries.

[00:05:25] Dwayne: Something like about something about a show girl.

[00:05:27] Cat: Yeah. Life of a showgirl. And all of the songs she ripped off.

[00:05:32] Ally: Oh.

[00:05:33] Cat: We'll talk about that later.

[00:05:34] Koji: Okay.

[00:05:35] Dwayne: I'm just, uh, I'm Dwayne 57, so I'm actually the 57th clone of Dwayne.

[00:05:41] Cat: Oh, I thought that was like ketchup. Dwayne 57 because of the 57 spicy.

[00:05:46] Dwayne: Incidentally, I'm the first one who likes ketchup. Yeah, 56 before hated catch up.

[00:05:50] Dwayne: Yes. And it's October. Uh, we posed a spooky question regarding world famous pop singer, and a certain leader of a notorious church. Is Taylor Swift a clone of a satanic princess?

[00:06:01] Cat: However, before we get to that, let's introduce our guest, who you've already heard a little bit from comedian Ally Noel. Is it Noel or Noel?

[00:06:10] Ally: I don't know, you skipped over writer. I said we were manifesting, but it's okay.

[00:06:13] Cat: Okay.

[00:06:16] Dwayne: I mean, you write your own jokes, so yeah,

[00:06:18] Ally: I do. And I punch others up. You know, I think I gave you a ad lib once. Dwyane. 

[00:06:23] Dwayne: Probably. Yeah, yeah.

[00:06:24] Ally: Yeah, yeah, I don't think he used it, but it was. It was offered.

[00:06:27] Dwayne: I may have used it. I don't use things. I just don't remember who gave it to me.

[00:06:31] Cat: Well, ally Noel Noel Noel is a Los Angeles native, comedian and actress who brings her creative energy to every stage she steps on. Beyond comedy, she works in creative marketing, turning visions into reality for brands and productions. She's a partner at Bird Leaves Productions, and she co-produces the three 30s comedy show, taping specials that showcase three comics delivering 30 minute sets. A true multi-hyphenate, Ali is also a professional photographer, capturing stories on and off the stage.

[00:07:02] Koji: Wow, that's very impressive.

[00:07:03] Ally: Thank you. Fritzy wrote it. That's what I call my ChatGPT.

[00:07:07] Dwayne: Oh, okay. Okay. And you said another name. Was that a different AI or. 

[00:07:12] Cat: Claude?

[00:07:13] Dwayne: That's what you called your chat.

[00:07:14] Cat: Yeah. Claude, AI is a whole other AI. Actually, Claude recently started cussing us out of nowhere. I was just talking to you about it. I was talking, it was coding, and it made a coding mistake. And it was like, oh, shit. And then another time, I was talking to it. I was like, hey, you know, is my ex coming back? Tiktok tarot said it would be. And it was like, fuck, you're not passing this test like it is not. He is not coming back. And I was like, what, Claude? Why are you cussing?

[00:07:41] Dwayne: Cursing is AI's attempt to sound more human. Yeah. So pretty soon cursing is going to be a sign that you're, uh, definitively not human. You know, like.

[00:07:50] Cat: Oh, yeah, like em dashes.

[00:07:52] Dwayne: And all those, uh, like, posts that are like, really advertisements. And they're like, Holy shit, I just bought this thing, thing and that thing, thing. And as soon as I see it, I'm like, let's just check out.

[00:08:01] Koji: Let's get back to our guest.

[00:08:03] Ally: Oh, sorry.

[00:08:03] Dwayne: No, I am, I am. I'm I'm intrigued by the hyphenate thing. So, um, multi-hyphenate. So which in between which thing is your biggest, uh, thing in between. There's a lot of hyphens, but which one would you say you hang your hat on the most?

[00:08:18] Ally: I don't know, it depends on where Adderall takes me that day.

[00:08:21] Dwayne: Oh, nice.

[00:08:22] Ally: Yeah. I'm a strong advocate and there's no shame in my game. So I mean, it's really hard to get 30s. That's all I'm saying. You got to go through a lot of meetings and the way people shame you for being on Adderall. I'm just saying we would have ended slavery sooner. Um.

[00:08:36] Dwayne: So Adderall helps you focus, is that right?

[00:08:38] Koji: Yeah.

[00:08:38] Ally: Yeah.

[00:08:39] Dwayne: And gives you energy.

[00:08:40] Koji: It's like ADHD. It's an Add medicine often for ADHD.

[00:08:43] Ally: And it's a great appetite suppressant.

[00:08:45] Dwayne: Is that right?

[00:08:46] Ally: Yeah. Can you tell I've been off it for a month? Oh my God.

[00:08:49] Dwayne: Uh, no, I haven't seen you in a while, so I can't really.

[00:08:52] Cat: Actually, my friend. Oh, I shouldn't say her name, my friend. Please Bleep her name out One of my best friends is on Adderall. And she eats one meal a day. And it's like she'll just wake up and just like, drink coffee all day and it'll be 8 p.m. she'll be like, oh shit, I forgot to eat.

[00:09:09] Ally: It's literally like that. Oh my God, I do boba instead. And matcha.

[00:09:13] Dwayne: Can you walk me through like, what's a day like with and without it or without it?

[00:09:18] Ally: So here's a great example. So I work in cannabis right. And I'm a marketing manager. And so since I've been without my lovely friend, all of the ideas that I need to come up for Kush, Miss Green Wednesday, all of that, I think I've been like, oh, we can do a lowrider car show, or we can hand out flyers like there's no ideas versus like when I'm on it are 420 plans was I came up with Kuriapilly and they were like, what? And I was like, give me three days. Three days. And I was like, I found ways for people to, like, get free weed for an entire year. We hate that now, but it was great when it was going.

[00:09:52] Dwayne: But they liked the idea.

[00:09:53] Ally: I mean, who doesn't want free weed for a year? And there's a lot of compliance that goes into that and a lot of like, mechanics. You know, I had the time to do all of that 16 hour days. What I told you I was on matcha.

[00:10:05] Dwayne: So yeah, I don't know if I, I don't even think that would. I don't love the sound of this of a I don't need to be that productive.

[00:10:11] Ally: I. I went from being a coordinator to manager in like three months. So yeah, like back when I first got on Adderall and my mom brings my friend for giving it to me. But like, this is how it happened. We were going out one night because we were working at this fabulous job, and we had corporate credit cards, and she was like, um, we need to go out to this club. And I was like, oh my God, we have to work in the morning. I can't do it. And she was like, oh, here's this little pill. And I was like, what? And then I wasn't hungry. I had so much energy and I was like, oh my God. And then I got my own prescription and here we are. And then I went from being a specialist to a director in under a year. That sounds like I'm pushing drugs, but it's not. They're legal.

[00:10:47] Dwayne: Can we get Adderall sponsor?

[00:10:52] Cat: I think what's important to note is that it's like it's not that that it gave you a super power. It's that you were already that person.

[00:10:58] Ally: Yeah.

[00:10:59] Cat: But you it needed to enable you to be your full potential.

[00:11:02] Ally: Well, it also helps me focus. So I do have.

[00:11:04] Dwayne: Every sitcom episode.

[00:11:06] Ally: Well, I mean, if you have been diagnosed with Add or ADHD, like it is a thing. I just thought it was like a magic trick and that they say this to you because I've seen a lot of kids.

[00:11:14] Dwayne: Who have you been diagnosed?

[00:11:15] Ally: I was diagnosed, and my therapist knew that she needed to take a roundabout approach of letting me know that I had it because I wasn't going to believe her. And then once I found out and then I got my prescription, I was just like, once you develop the tools on how to deal with it, your life is better. So we need it.

[00:11:31] Dwayne: Nice.

[00:11:31] Koji: Interesting.

[00:11:32] Dwayne: I didn't I didn't see this going that way, but I like it. And it's. You need a prescription, though, right?

[00:11:37] Ally: You do, you do. I mean, you could get it on the street, I don't recommend.

[00:11:40] Dwayne: No, no. 

[00:11:40] Ally: I don't.

[00:11:41] Cat: I never know what's mixed in with it.

[00:11:42] Ally: Yeah. You don't. I like getting mine from the pharmacy, you know. Yeah. There we go.

[00:11:46] Dwayne: I just think I'd be too focused. I think I think I don't know, I don't know who I'd become. You know what I mean?

[00:11:52] Ally: Someone better.

[00:11:55] Dwayne: I feel like I feel like I would just like, uh, be less. Less tolerant.

[00:12:00] Cat: So for me, I'm not on Adderall. But I did stop dating this year completely. And I feel like that's the same, because normally I'm, like, thinking about, oh, does he like me? He hasn't texted me back. And with that gone, I'm like hyper focused.

[00:12:14] Ally: Right?

[00:12:14] Cat: And then I went to, uh, to Santa Fe and I like relaxed a lot. So my nervous system was like super regulated.

[00:12:21] Dwayne: New Mexico. 

[00:12:21] Cat: Yeah.

[00:12:22] Dwayne: Okay.

[00:12:22] Cat: And then I worked like 60 hour weeks for two months.

[00:12:25] Koji: no, Santa Fe orange county.

[00:12:26] Cat: I was capable of it. 

[00:12:28] Ally: Right?

[00:12:28] Cat: I wasn't capable.

[00:12:29] Ally: Because you had so much more like space in your thought process. Like I will obsess about a guy, I will, and I'd be like, like, because I just like I like to overanalyze everything. And then next thing you know, the whole day is gone. And I've just been thinking about these two text messages.

[00:12:43] Koji: I've never had that problem about focusing on a guy before.

[00:12:45] Dwayne: Right? You know what? I think back in the day, they didn't have Adderall. You know, they had instead Ritalin. No, they had, like, digging and farming. And you were always doing something, so.

[00:12:56] Cat: Oh, no, you sound like RFK Jr. He wants to send everybody with ADHD to work in the fields instead of the immigrants.

[00:13:02] Dwayne: No, I don't want to do that. But I'm just saying you had something because idle time is the devil's workshop. You see,

[00:13:07] Koji: I went to this elite private school when I was a kid, and it was like. 

[00:13:10] Cat: Bragging. Okay,

[00:13:11] Koji: Well, there's a point to this. I went to the school, and so I'd play baseball till five, and then I would have to study from 5:00 to 2 a.m. every single day from seventh grade on.

[00:13:21] Dwayne: That's wild

[00:13:22] Koji: Yeah. And it was like just I would sit there, my mom would bring me food. I would I wouldn't even get up. I wouldn't go to the bathroom. I would just sit there and study for seven hours every night. And you do that long enough and you just realize, like, fuck. Like I could sit through anything. So that's why when I work, when I'm writing or when I need something, I could like, like I could sit there for like 5 or 6 hours and just work.

[00:13:42] Cat: Yeah. Someone once told me, it's not about what you learn in college. It's about the the skill you learn of doing things you don't want to do.

[00:13:49] Koji: Yeah, I could I could sit there for five hours, like, literally I could sit for five hours. Still, to this day, after doing it from seventh grade to 10th grade, 11th grade. And just I mean, it was hell. It was fucking hell.

[00:13:59] Dwayne: I can only do that now when I'm on the road, when I have nothing else.

[00:14:02] Koji: No, no. Yeah, it was crazy. I would just sit there and work and, like, I was kind of like I probably had if I was a kid. Now, I'd probably have, like, ADD, but. But after I did that, I was just like.

[00:14:13] Dwayne: Oh. So one more question for Ally. If you had to take away one of the hyphens, which one would you take away first?

[00:14:19] Ally: Graphic design.

[00:14:20] Dwayne: Mhm.

[00:14:21] Ally: Immediately immediately it's not a skill I wanted to learn. Uh, when you know it everybody asks you to use it. Oh and photography. I'd take both of those away. I feel like they go hand in hand, but I just feel like when you are the person who makes invitations or who makes flyers, everybody comes to you and they're like, oh, it's simple though.

[00:14:39] Dwayne: They don't want to pay

[00:14:40] Ally: They don't want to pay. They're like, it's simple. It's real simple. And I'm like, how simple is it? Well, I want it to feel aquatic.

[00:14:47] Dwayne: Huh.

[00:14:47] Ally: Okay. And, you know, I want it to feel warm. Okay. I can't speak in feelings, you know, and I'm so technical and I'm rather mean about it. But if I'm mean, that means I love you. And I'll do a great job on the project if you're not paying. I mean, I call it my Arkwright price, so no one ever wants to pay it. So you get this attitude. But if you pay the Arkwright price. Oh, my God, I'm so friendly. Hmm.

[00:15:05] Koji: Interesting.

[00:15:06] Dwayne: Yeah. I think you gotta charge people, but. Or barter, you know, maybe they give you Adderall. Yeah.

[00:15:16] Koji: All right. Ready, guys?

[00:15:17] Cat: Yeah. Let's get into it.

[00:15:19] Koji: All right, here is the official story. Today's theory is a bit out there. Some internet sleuths believe Taylor Swift isn't just a pop superstar. She's a clone of Zeena Schreck. Is that how you say it?

[00:15:29] Ally: I thought it was Shrek.

[00:15:32] Koji: Shrek.

[00:15:32] Cat: Shrek. Shrek.

[00:15:33] Ally: Shrek.

[00:15:34] Koji: Shrek. I don't know.

[00:15:34] Ally: I dunno. I was watching TikToks before I walked in here.

[00:15:36] Cat: Schneider like. 

[00:15:37] Dwayne: She's a Satanist. You can say it wrong.

[00:15:39] Koji: Former high priestess of the Church of Satan and daughter of Anton LaVey, the founder of the Church of Satan. Why? Because they both have blonde hair, red lipstick and a vibe that says, I could summon a demon and drop a platinum album. Your choice.

[00:15:51] Cat: The idea first surfaced around 2011, when old interviews of Schreck started appearing on YouTube. Then in 2013, BuzzFeed published a tongue in cheek article titled proof that Taylor Swift is Actually a Satanist, and the meme exploded. Reddit, Instagram, and YouTube conspiracy channels joined the party, posting side by side comparisons in hashtags like stop human Cloning. Even mainstream outlets like HuffPost and Daily Mail covered the madness.

[00:16:21] Koji: I remember that episode. I don't think Dwayne, I don't think you were there, but we were talking about the Church of Satan and they were not that bad of a or.

[00:16:27] Cat: Oh, yeah. I remember that episode.

[00:16:28] Koji: Yeah. They weren't actually they were like, uh, they were actually a church for, uh, to help people, women get abortions.

[00:16:34] Cat: Because they don't actually worship Satan... Are liberal.

[00:16:38] Ally: But the name is Church of Satan.

[00:16:39] Koji: To piss people off.

[00:16:40] Cat: Yeah. They're trolling.

[00:16:41] Koji: They're trolling. So for example, like because it's a church. Yeah, they could like they could sanction like abortion and stuff. Oh, and then if you look at like their like pledge, I mean, remember we looked it up last time. But I think it's like their, their theories are very.

[00:16:55] Cat: It's like don't harm animals and stuff like that.

[00:16:57] Ally: It's like oh it's good. They do good. And they're trolling.

[00:17:00] Cat: Yeah they're trolling.

[00:17:01] Ally: I feel like they need an advocate to tell us this,

[00:17:04] Dwayne: But. But the question is, do they really serve Lucifer?

[00:17:08] Koji: No, I think no, no, the Satan is just as a like. 

[00:17:11] Cat: Some don't. But but I do believe the occult is real.

[00:17:14] Ally: Okay.

[00:17:15] Cat: And I think that there are probably some Satanists who do.

[00:17:18] Ally: Who are in the church, of course. I mean, I almost got into witchcraft and then I was like, there's just it's there's so many pieces and tools you need.

[00:17:25] Dwayne: You were priced out.

[00:17:26] Ally: The candles, man. The candles.

[00:17:28] Cat: Who can afford that shit? How many kinds of sage? Sorry.

[00:17:31] Koji: So their core beliefs are atheism and self-deification. The Church of Satan is a fundamentally atheist religion. They do not believe in a literal god or a supernatural being called Satan. Instead, members are considered the center of their own universe and their own God. In quotes Satan as a symbol, Satan as a symbol of pride, individualism, and the embrace of human nature. He represents earthly desires and rejection of spiritual pipe dreams and abstinence indulgences, not abstinence. Members are encouraged to experience the pleasures of the world, including physical and mental and emotional gratification, as long as it does not harm others. Individual responsibility and empowerment. The core of their philosophy is self-assertion, self-assertion, self-reliance, personal empowerment. Individuals are fully responsible for their own lives and the consequences of their actions. Critique of traditional morality. They see traditional moral codes as a hypocritical and designed to suppress natural human instincts. Instead, they advocate for undefiled wisdom and a rejection of conformity and vengeance. The principle of vengeance, instead of turning the other cheek, is a tenet suggesting that those who wrong you should face consequences rather than be met with forgiveness. And then these are their statements. Uh, indulgence. Satisfaction is prioritized over abstinence. Vital existence that focuses on earthly life rather than spiritual pursuits. Undefiled wisdom seeks wisdom without the constraints of religious or moral deceit.

[00:18:47] Ally: I don't know, they sound better than Scientology.

[00:18:49] Koji: They're better than Scientology.

[00:18:51] Dwayne: Better than that.

[00:18:51] Cat: But I do think that there is one disadvantage to this. Like I know that they did it out of trolling, but now I feel like there's religious people who look at Satanism and then they use that to define their religion. So if Satanism is like be kind to animals, then they're like. Therefore, being Christian means hurting animals.

[00:19:07] Dwayne: Right, right.

[00:19:08] Cat: It's like, hold on, that's not how this works.

[00:19:10] Dwayne: Everything. Everything you read, too. Sounds like a sound bite. It's like watching, like the few clips of Charlie Kirk sounding reasonable and being like, you know, he promoted free speech and all of this when it was like a lot of like hate sort of wrapped up in that. And, and so all of that sounds good, but no one who is super successful, maybe after they get successful, but no one gets successful.

[00:19:35] Koji: Practicing.

[00:19:36] Dwayne: Pure indulgence.

[00:19:37] Koji: But they probably.

[00:19:38] Dwayne: You only get successful through discipline.

[00:19:39] Koji: So by the way, it's the satanic temples, the one that abortion. So it's, uh, the concentration of high profile legal and activist campaign supporting abortion access, which is framed as a religious right protected by the First Amendment. So they say one's body's in a viable subject to one's own will alone establish a religious belief in bodily autonomy.

[00:20:00] Dwayne: Right. And it all sounds like exactly what a fallen angel would say.

[00:20:05] Ally: Or, you know, a narcissist, right?

[00:20:07] Dwayne: Because the whole thing about believing in a higher power is not like proving that it exists or doesn't exist. It's more like understanding that you have limitations. Like you may not have limitations in theory.

[00:20:18] Koji: No, no, that's a very Western world.

[00:20:19] Dwayne: I know, but, I mean, you can get hit by a car. A stray bullet can hit you. So there's an idea that you are in full control. It's just simply not the case. You are in full control of how you react,

[00:20:28] Koji: That's what. But that's the point, though.

[00:20:30] Dwayne: I believe that. But that's. But that. But that's not how most people interpret that. Like I think eastern religions, like Buddhism says like emotions are like waves. You can't stop them, but you can choose which ones to ride. You know what I mean? Yeah. But inherent is the limitation. Like you can't control the waves, you know what I'm saying? But you can control which ones you ride. All that sounds like just someone talking fast, trying to get you to.

[00:20:55] Koji: But to be clear, to be clear, Christianity has killed a lot more people than the Church of Satan.

[00:20:59] Dwayne: No no no no question, no question. Because those people are not following. They're not really following.

[00:21:04] Cat: It's also like 40 people in San Francisco.

[00:21:06] Ally: Like I'm also sitting here like we're getting really into race theory. And I didn't volunteer for this because I did not study. So like I would I only did notes on Taylor. Um, I would I would have brought my Bible, I think. I don't know. Um.

[00:21:19] Dwayne: We had to sort of talk about.

[00:21:21] Ally: No I'm here for it all. I'm like, don't look for Ally to comment. Um, anyway.

[00:21:26] Dwayne: Fans pointed to Swift's serpentine imagery, gothic aesthetics, and uncanny resemblance to Shrek shriek as proof of her occult origins.

[00:21:35] Koji: Let's take a look. Do these two look alike? We'll post an image on our socials and you can tell us if they look alike. What do you guys think? Do they actually look alike?

[00:21:41] Cat: Yeah.

[00:21:42] Ally: Okay. Yeah. But, like, here's my thing though, right? Because I feel like we all look like woodland creatures and so, like. No, I just put it in perspective, right? Like, I'm a chipmunk slash bear. So if you have a bear nose.

[00:21:53] Koji: What is it? Wait wait wait wait wait.

[00:21:54] Cat: I do see it, though. I do have a little bear nose.

[00:21:57] Ally: Thank you, thank you. All right. It's not full, chipmunk, but it's like.

[00:22:00] Cat: What do I look like? Don't tell me, but I've heard bird.

[00:22:02] Ally: No. That's rude. Not giving bird. I've only called someone a possum once, but I just couldn't.

[00:22:07] Cat: Oh that's mean.

[00:22:08] Ally: I just couldn't find any other rodent that like.

[00:22:13] Koji: Capybara. Capybara?

[00:22:14] Ally: Oh. Oh!

[00:22:15] Koji: That's a rodent.

[00:22:16] Ally: That is, that is.

[00:22:17] Koji: It's kind of cute.

[00:22:18] Ally: It's kind of cute. I have given someone baboon before, but I was like, it's so spot on. And it's not to be mean

[00:22:23] Koji: is it how they look? Or are they?

[00:22:25] Ally: It's your features, right? So, like, we all look like woodland features, right? Like. So my theory is, is like you want to mate within your species, right? Because I'm like I interracially date. Right. So this doesn't apply to your race. This is just applies to your features because I don't want ugly babies. So, you know, like I look like chipmunk slash bear. I'm not gonna go mate with, like, a snake or a fish.

[00:22:44] Koji: Wait, wait. Do me, do me. What do I look like?

[00:22:45] Dwayne: Who? Who has a snake? Who has a snake?

[00:22:50] Ally: I have my first answer. And my second answer. Okay.

[00:22:52] Cat: What celebrity looks like a snake or fish?

[00:22:54] Ally: There are some fishes out there. Okay, Jonathan majors fish.

[00:22:58] Koji: Okay. Who cares about these other people? Me. Let's go back to me.

[00:23:01] Ally: Yeah.

[00:23:02] Koji: What do I look like?

[00:23:04] Ally: Okay, so, like.

[00:23:05] Koji: You could be mean, I don't care.

[00:23:06] Ally: No, no, no, we're not mean. But I'm saying like like knee jerk reaction, right? We're definitely going on the bear side just a little bit. Right. We're definitely going bare. And then like if we were to get more specific only because of the beard, you would immediately go with koala, right? But like, you don't have to do a koala. You know, like.

[00:23:24] Cat: I can see Koala.

[00:23:25] Ally: But like because like, it's like the adorableness but like the cheekbones to me. Like I just feel like they're, like, raised, but like, I feel like it's like it's it's. I feel like you're like bear cub. Like just before you get.

[00:23:36] Koji: What is Dwayne?

[00:23:37] Dwayne: Is there an app you can put yourself in? Because I have no idea.

[00:23:39] Koji: Yeah. What's Dwayne? What's Dwayne do Dwayne do Dwayne. 

[00:23:41] Dwayne: Feel like. 

[00:23:42] Cat: Very angular.

[00:23:42] Koji: No, you can't do it. You can't do it. She has to do it.

[00:23:44] Dwayne: Okay.

[00:23:45] Ally: No.

[00:23:48] Dwayne: I won't be offended.

[00:23:49] Ally: Oh, I didn't, I know I never asked me to fucking go around the table.

[00:23:51] Koji: You're a vagina.

[00:23:52] Cat: Oh, my God.

[00:23:54] Dwayne: Is that a woodland animal.

[00:23:55] Cat: Well.

[00:23:56] Dwayne: Beaver. Beaver.

[00:23:59] Ally: Oh my God, Beaver works. Beaver works. Not the tail of the beaver. 

[00:24:05] Dwayne: Is a dog a woodland animal or.

[00:24:07] Ally: No. We could do dogs. What breed?

[00:24:09] Dwayne: I don't know, I was I once saw this dog. I don't I'm not good with the breeds. But I was at a in the Beverly Center once, and there's a dog store in there, and I saw this dog that looked like me, and I was like, yo, this.

[00:24:19] Koji: Must have been a long time ago.

[00:24:20] Cat: I'm think of Frenchie, I don't know why, but I'm thinking Frenchie.

[00:24:23] Ally: Oh.

[00:24:23] Cat: I'm thinking there's, like, a squareness to your face.

[00:24:26] Dwayne: Yeah. Not Lassie. Uh

[00:24:29] Koji: a collie.

[00:24:30] Dwayne: Not a collie, like one of the ones that have, like, a brown, you know, like, uh.

[00:24:35] Koji: Let's just call you a beaver.

[00:24:36] Dwayne: Yeah, yeah, I don't I mean, maybe beaver, but she was gonna go with something else. I think you said beaver, and then she stopped,

[00:24:43] Ally: You know? Anyway.

[00:24:46] Cat: Okay, I actually pulled up, um, Zeena Schreck talking, in case you want to hear her voice.

[00:24:51] Ally: Yeah.

[00:24:52] Cat: Um, I just want to see if she sounds like her, so hold on, let me find it. Okay? Guys are just talking over her. Hold on. Mansplaining.

[00:25:00] Koji: Wait, wait. First, let's talk about. Do they look like.

[00:25:02] Ally: So like my bad. Back to what I was saying. So like, we all like we all can fit under like certain categories. Right. They do have the similar lip shapes, but like if I had her lip shape, I would wear my lipstick like that too, because I was seeing stuff online about like the way that they wear their lipstick, but I'm like, they have similar face features, right? Because like, there's we've seen doppelgangers like time and time again, like there's a lot of Asian actors that I feel like resemble a lot of like Western actors. Right. And so, like, you could just put the two like I've seen, like studies side by side, right? So like, if I have hooded eyes, I'm gonna do a certain kind of eyelid. If I have tiny little lemon eyes like my eyes, I can't use all that eyeshadow.

[00:25:39] Dwayne: Right, right, right.

[00:25:40] Ally: Sorry. That's a girl thing, if you care.

[00:25:41] Dwayne: No, no, I get it. Like some of it is just a general overall aesthetic as opposed to them being like true doppelgangers. But there's another thing that we're not covering. If you. I was in my research, there's a commercial from like 1979 or something. Eight years before she was born. And this woman looks just like Taylor Swift now they found her. It's not her. But, I mean, just like we should maybe pull it up, but it's, um. It's a commercial of some sort. It's probably still on my laptop because I was watching it. So maybe she just has a common face, I don't know.

[00:26:14] Ally: Did you guys also hear the theory about her and Zena? They were saying that Zena gave up her position of the church in 1989. And what was Taylor's album,

[00:26:25] Cat: 1989?

[00:26:27] Ally: Yeah. So, like, maybe I was like, but why would she give up her post so early.

[00:26:31] Dwayne: Born or something like that.

[00:26:31] Ally: You know? But it was like, it's the same, like, I don't know.

[00:26:34] Cat: Okay, I found, I got, I got to the place where it's the clip of her talking. Okay. Are we ready to listen to her voice?

[00:26:41] Ally: Yeah.

[00:26:41] Zeena: We are our own gods. We feel that whatever god or devil we want to believe in.

[00:26:49] Koji: Yeah, they don't sound alike. 

[00:26:50] Zeena: In the same way that we feel that.

[00:26:52] Cat: Yeah, that doesn't sound like Taylor.

[00:26:53] Ally: Not at all.

[00:26:54] Koji: So when I was looking at this picture, I was thinking. I worried that I have white blindness sometimes, that I don't hang out with a ton of Caucasian people. I do have I do have Caucasian friends, though. But like, if they're any other color, then I'm much more friends than those other colors. So when I looked at them, I was wondering. I kind of worried that it's like the white blindness thing, but.

[00:27:14] Dwayne: White people are the ones saying it.

[00:27:16] Koji: That's true.

[00:27:16] Ally: I feel like.

[00:27:17] Cat: If I go face a feature, if I go face feature by face feature, she they both have small kind of almond eyes. They both have that same kind of upturned nose that's also like straight. So it's not there's a lot of types of like little upturned noses that you could be like a kind of little like roundedness on the end.

[00:27:37] Ally: But I also feel like and this is rude to say I'm not a swiftie, but I just have to throw this fact out there. I think this picture is after she got her nose job done, so I don't think we're judging this correctly.

[00:27:49] Dwayne: I didn't know she had a nose job.

[00:27:50] Cat: I didn't know she had a nose job.

[00:27:51] Ally: Oh, you guys don't look at the pictures. Okay, so I get lost on those two rabbit hole. Oh my God. But yeah, like, if you look at her nose prior to when she came out, like with that guitar song where, like, tears on my guitar or whatever that is, her nose is slightly different now. This could be if she didn't get her work done. Don't come after me. Don't kill me. Right. She just contours different. But there is a difference in her nose shape, so I wonder. I think maybe she put all three pictures.

[00:28:13] Cat: I could see it because sometimes I think about Taylor and I'm like, she's just too perfect.

[00:28:16] Dwayne: So maybe she got her nose to look like this woman. Maybe she went in with a picture of her, like, can you give me.

[00:28:23] Koji: Can I look like her?

[00:28:23] Dwayne: like at a barber shop? They have the haircuts you can pick, you know.

[00:28:26] Koji: Or like. At, like. A car repair shops. They put pictures on the wall.

[00:28:30] Dwayne: Right, right.

[00:28:31] Cat: They do have very similar jawlines to Jawlines cheekbones. I see, I think, okay, I think Taylor's cheekbones are slightly more prominent. And then her jaw is like ever so slightly more narrow versus Zena's is slightly more square, but it's subtle. Also, Zena's skin tone looks like it has more pink. Like it looks like she's cool and Taylor's more warm. But also it could just be the pictures. But from the other pictures of her I think like.

[00:28:57] Ally: Yeah I think I think this is like fresh off the beach because you know, she loves the beach. Zeena doesn't look like she likes. She looks like she likes cold places.

[00:29:07] Cat: She does. But no looking. Looking. Taylor up. She does seem to have more of a warm undertone in her skin. Like across many of her pictures. She's not a cool.

[00:29:16] Ally: I feel like Zeena could get there, but I really don't think she goes near the water in the summer.

[00:29:20] Cat: Yeah, I agree. She probably just stays in caves.

[00:29:24] Ally: I think so. I think she's the type. Like, oh my God, I found a new bat cave like Tidepools, you know?

[00:29:28] Koji: Wow. What did she do to you?

[00:29:31] Ally: Oh, no, I meant that as a compliment. I support her in her satani.

[00:29:35] Dwayne: Yeah, I'm just obsessed with. I gotta find an app that'll tell me what woodland animal I am.

[00:29:43] Koji: That's my most exciting moment I've ever had.

[00:29:45] Dwayne: Bear. No. That's good.

[00:29:46] Koji: Yeah, the bear is a good one.

[00:29:47] Dwayne: Well, we landed koala bear. Is that what we landed?

[00:29:49] Koji: I think, I think, I think. She said polar bear. Ferocious polar bear.

[00:29:52] Dwayne: Polar bear. Okay, okay.

[00:29:54] Koji: I'm just kidding. As long as it's not panda bears.

[00:29:57] Ally: No, I knew better.

[00:29:58] Koji: Next season, we're gonna do an episode. Are pandas real.

[00:30:00] Ally: Wait, what?

[00:30:01] Koji: First mention of a panda in Chinese writing? Was in, like, the 1860s, 1870s. It was really late. And like, Chinese writing is like it.

[00:30:10] Ally: Goes way far back. It goes really far back.

[00:30:12] Koji: But the fact that everyone's like, well, not even I'm sorry. Early 1900s.

[00:30:16] Dwayne: So what was at The San Diego Zoo.

[00:30:17] Koji: So they think that those are all fake. Like all the pandas are fake.

[00:30:20] Ally: They were made.

[00:30:21] Koji: That they were created.

[00:30:22] Ally: But then what are they mixed with?

[00:30:24] Koji: I don't know, but that like the pandas like. So if you.

[00:30:26] Dwayne: If the real low libido,

[00:30:27] Koji: If they had a panda, they would have like had a pandas from like, you know like centuries ago. Right. Because Chinese culture is thousands of years old. And why do they matter? But but anyway. And then there was those stories in China where they dressed up dogs and pandas and stuff, and people.

[00:30:42] Ally: I did not notice that, you know, because, like, my favorite dynasty is the Tang dynasty. So like.

[00:30:47] Koji: You favorite Dynasty.

[00:30:48] Ally: Oh, my God, I told you, we can go down.

[00:30:49] Dwayne: That's my favorite dynasty too.

[00:30:50] Ally: No. For real. Like, that's when they had all the money. And I just love the clothes and the hair because, like, um. Anyway. Anyway.

[00:30:57] Cat: Meanwhile, y'all are talking. I'm going through the the did Taylor Swift get a nose job rabbit hole over here.

[00:31:02] Ally: Wait, did you find. Did you see that?

[00:31:04] Cat: I think that she did.

[00:31:04] Ally: Did you see the before and after? Right.

[00:31:06] Cat: But also, she just grew up like she just wasn't.

[00:31:09] Ally: Grow into your nose, right? Because I used to have a gap, and my sister still has hers. And I grew into mine. So, like, I don't know how you grow out of, like, a gap in my teeth, so I used to. Yeah. I used to have a gap in my teeth and it closed right when my sisters never did. I feel like Taylor's humping her nose slightly disappeared after overtime. Right.

[00:31:27] Dwayne: But why would you get a surgery and make it look just, like, 10% different?

[00:31:31] Cat: I think she.

[00:31:32] Ally: I want to rhinoplasty.

[00:31:33] Cat: Wider than it got smaller.

[00:31:34] Dwayne: No, I just want. I probably need it.

[00:31:36] Ally: I just I just want a little rhinoplasty. Just a little bow.

[00:31:38] Koji: I mean, I had to get a penis reduction surgery so. 

[00:31:40] Ally: What?

[00:31:41] Dwayne: Yeah. Yeah, I remember.

[00:31:42] Ally: You guys are really open here.

[00:31:45] Dwayne: Right? Because he said he learned from mine. That's how you do yours.

[00:31:50] Koji: I found out, I found out it wasn't painful. And Cat got her penis reduction surgery, too.

[00:31:56] Ally: I'm dead.

[00:31:59] Cat: There are lots of problems with this theory, though. Number one being that Shrek is alive.

[00:32:04] Ally: So yeah.

[00:32:06] Cat: You can't be reincarnated. And also, Taylor has repeatedly said she's a Christian. I mean, a lot of people do, so.

[00:32:14] Ally: Right.

[00:32:15] Dwayne: Yeah, yeah.

[00:32:16] Ally: Because I'm into crystals, so. But I'm Christian and spiritual like I do believe that, like, Jesus is real. God is real, right? All of that. I mean.

[00:32:24] Dwayne: Like Christian crystals, you know, not too far. Um. Okay. It's time to put on our thinking caps. Is Taylor Swift really a clone of a satanic princess? When we return, we'll settle this once and for all and figure out what really maybe happened.

[00:32:47] Koji: Now that we've reviewed the evidence, let's give our theories. Who wants to go first? I have a theory. But you want me to go? You wanna go Dwayne?

[00:32:53] Dwayne: You go? Because I'm still, I'm still sort of formulating my.

[00:32:56] Koji: So she's cloned. I'm just gonna say that she's been cloned. There's lots of versions, and it's all really to suppress the Asians because the original clone, Taylor Swift, was Asian.

[00:33:05] Ally: I'm dead.

[00:33:06] Koji: Okay. And then they're like, oh, we can't really we can't really advertise this Asian American woman. This is before Asians were popular, like K-pop, right before K-pop and all that. They're just like, ah, she's too. So then they cloned her and cloned her. And then, you know, when you start cloning things, you start getting copies and copies of things, and they become whiter and whiter and whiter.

[00:33:24] Dwayne: Mhm.

[00:33:25] Koji: That's what happened.

[00:33:26] Dwayne: They become whiter and whiter. So the original was Asian.

[00:33:29] Koji: Asian. And then they copied her and copied her. And then.

[00:33:31] Ally: Can we discuss this. 

[00:33:32] Dwayne: World. It loses. You lose some, you lose quality but you lose something each time.

[00:33:38] Koji: Like like like a photocopy.

[00:33:39] Cat: We become less Asian every time you get.

[00:33:41] Dwayne: Each time you step on it.

[00:33:42] Koji: Well, you they photocopy a photocopy of a photocopy and then you just start slowly losing the Asian features.

[00:33:46] Dwayne: Interesting. Did the music change as well?

[00:33:49] Koji: Everything changed. She was like a little bit more R&B before. Right. And then she.

[00:33:53] Cat: I feel like this. This theory has no legs.

[00:33:56] Ally: Yeah. Yeah.

[00:33:57] Cat: Is this a stretch. Even for you?

[00:33:59] Ally: Yeah,

[00:34:00] Cat: It is a stretch.

[00:34:00] Ally: I was like, why wouldn't they just start with her being white? I just like. 

[00:34:04] Koji: No. No, no.

[00:34:05] Cat: What would the purpose be? Really?

[00:34:06] Koji: The original version, like the original Taylor Swift, was actually Asian, but then they didn't want her to be. She couldn't be Asian.

[00:34:12] Dwayne: She was actually called Taylor Swiftru.

[00:34:18] Koji: Okay. So I don't even think. I don't even think we need to talk about the rest of the theories. I mean, it's time for us to.

[00:34:23] Cat: I have a theory.

[00:34:24] Ally: Oh my god.

[00:34:26] Cat: My theory is that Zena is Taylor's mom. Duh. And still alive. And they look alike.

[00:34:32] Ally: She doesn't want to claim her.

[00:34:34] Dwayne: Right. But they said on on some website, they said they're not related. But ironically enough, Taylor Swift is related to her stepmother because they're both descendants of people who were on the Mayflower.

[00:34:46] Ally: Wow.

[00:34:47] Cat: Okay.

[00:34:48] Ally: Wow. The Mayflower?

[00:34:50] Dwayne: Yeah.

[00:34:51] Cat: They go back. They are the kind of white that Donald Trump's people

[00:34:54] Ally: find the name in the book.

[00:34:55] Koji: That doesn't sound. That doesn't sound Asian to me, but okay.

[00:34:57] Dwayne: That's uncut, raw and uncut. Yeah, yeah. So I like that theory. So she's her mom, but she's kind of kept it under.

[00:35:03] Cat: Mhm. They kept it under wraps but she's like I want my daughter to succeed. So you know.

[00:35:07] Dwayne: And how about the person who she thinks is her mom. Her dad is like a V.P. at Merrill Lynch or something like that. I don't know who her mom is. Taylor Swift I'm talking about.

[00:35:15] Cat: Duh. Nobody knows who her mom.

[00:35:16] Ally: No, we just know that she loves her mom and her mom.

[00:35:18] Dwayne: She's like a Superman thing. Like she was just a baby in a basket.

[00:35:21] Koji: We could. We could make our theories that the original Church of Satan woman was Asian, too. Then we could have the same theory. See?

[00:35:27] Ally: Where are you going with this?

[00:35:28] Dwayne: Okay, well, here's my theory.

[00:35:30] Cat: Everyone's Asian.

[00:35:31] Ally: I mean, I'm always down to make things everything Asian, but, like.

[00:35:34] Cat: Everything's aliens and then all aliens are Asian. And that's really how Koji goes.

[00:35:39] Dwayne: It always comes back to that. Yes.

[00:35:40] Koji: Just think about it. We could do two. We could have two points here.Okay, go ahead.

[00:35:43] Dwayne: All right, so, uh, you said something about woodland animals earlier, right? Features. And then there's a, there's a saying which maybe you've heard before. If you feed them, they'll favor you. Right. That means that's a country saying so like meaning like you meet a girl who has a son, and when you meet her, the son is like one years old, right? But his father's out of the picture. You raise him as he comes up, he'll look like you because you've been the one feeding him. So if you feed him, they'll favor you.

[00:36:13] Koji: Like from the from the breast or just.

[00:36:15] Dwayne: No, just because they grow up with you and then they just take on.

[00:36:18] Koji: I was thinking.

[00:36:19] Dwayne: So who's. Who's. Who? She fed her.

[00:36:22] Dwayne: Huh?

[00:36:23] Ally: Are you saying that Zena fed Taylor?

[00:36:25] Dwayne: No. I like you're asking the right questions.

[00:36:26] Ally: Oh, my bad. That's where my mind was going.

[00:36:28] Dwayne: No, no, no. So what I'm saying is that the actress who was in that commercial, who looks just like her. If you look it up, Taylor Swift, this Zena lady, I think that if you. And you know not to shit on Taylor, but if you serve a certain situation, you feed evil? Evil feeds you. Maybe that's just the look you get. You know, like, if you just. You know what I'm saying? So I think.

[00:36:51] Ally: Our faces, if you all saw our faces right now, continue.

[00:36:55] Dwayne: Their faces. Their faces morph into that look, because that's the look of Satan. Sort of like not Satan, but sort of like, let's say Satan's sidekick. Like, that's the look of like a certain type of evil. And so they don't look alike. When they were born, they probably didn't look exactly like, you know, they were born at different times, but over time their face contorts to what is the sort of. 

[00:37:20] Cat: Oh, so if they both. Made like a deal with the devil, then that's why they're both becoming looking like the same God. I just, I was.

[00:37:29] Ally: I don't know, I hope that's what it is. Because you lost.

[00:37:31] Dwayne: Yeah. That's it, that's it, that's it. Oh, it doesn't even have to be a deal like you. You've really made. It's just sort of like once you start serving evil.

[00:37:38] Ally: Oh.

[00:37:39] Dwayne: Your face just sort of.

[00:37:40] Ally: I mean, so what evil do I have to serve to get here. Because I want to know who she's praying to. I'm just. I just just for research. Um. That's it.

[00:37:53] Dwayne: It's like everyone in Hollywood has the same face. I know that some of that is plastic surgery, but, you know, Ozempic face. You know, it's just just something about a face is.

[00:38:00] Ally: See, that's the ones who aren't taking collagen, though, because let me tell you, if you just take a little bit of collagen and, oh, sorry.

[00:38:06] Dwayne: Like chicken skin or just like collagen pill.

[00:38:09] Ally: No. Like collagen.

[00:38:10] Cat: Powder.

[00:38:10] Ally: Yeah. Liquid collagen. Sorry. I'm on that journey, you know? And, like, just.

[00:38:15] Cat: Do you feel like it's made a difference?

[00:38:17] Dwayne: So if you do Adderall, collagen and ozempic, it's up, right? it's down. But you know what I mean?

[00:38:23] Ally: I mean, if I, if I, if I got rid of the weed smoking, I think I would be smaller. But like.

[00:38:28] Dwayne: Is it the munchies?

[00:38:28] Ally: So yeah. Because like, the weed helps you smoke past where the ozempic is supposed to stop you. And so you get really nauseous on it all the time. And I was like, oh my God, weed fixes it. But then I was like, wait, I'm still eating, Damn it. And so we're here. But yeah, it's a anyway, if you guys ever want to know, DM me.

[00:38:46] Dwayne: But I don't know if that makes sense.

[00:38:48] Koji: I thought it was more like you're saying like a dog owner. This. For whatever reason, the dog ends up the dog and the humans start to look alike. 

[00:38:55] Dwayne: Or like that, right so they're both looking like their master or what their master thinks a woman should look like.

[00:39:00] Ally: But who's the master here?

[00:39:02] Koji: Satan.

[00:39:02] Dwayne: Satan.

[00:39:03] Ally: Okay, okay.

[00:39:03] Koji: Okay, okay. So we're saying.

[00:39:04] Cat: Then you look at someone like Marilyn Monroe and now we're getting somewhere. It's all.

[00:39:09] Ally: Does she worship Satan bombshells?

[00:39:11] Cat: Um, no. But maybe.

[00:39:14] Dwayne: She. She. You can do someone's bidding without worship.

[00:39:16] Cat: Die mysteriously.

[00:39:18] Ally: She did.

[00:39:18] Cat: At the same age as Jesus.

[00:39:20] Koji: All right, well, what's your theory?

[00:39:21] Ally: If I'm being honest, I just think, like, the beehive is just bored and has nothing to do but to make up theories about Taylor.

[00:39:28] Dwayne: I like this. So this is the beehive? I didn't think about that.

[00:39:31] Ally: I mean, because I'm also a part of it. So like if I wanted like also I supported what Kanye did at the VMAs. Don't tell anybody. Um, Oh, but I mean, like you mean.

[00:39:41] Koji: You mean MAGA Kanye.

[00:39:43] Ally: No. Pre. That's pre. That was pre. We all know. That was that was that. Was the when Jay-Z was still messing with him. Um but no like I feel like everything that's happened with Taylor and just like her ascending to where she is now, I just feel like it's been like certain steps. Right. And she's a part of, like, that big media machine. And so, like, what are we all left to do if you can't touch it? Because all of us are in entertainment, right? So some of us also have like ties of just like to know what's going on. Do you know what I mean? Like when she gave out, like when everyone heard that she gave out bonuses to some people on her tour, right. Like like she. Because like, as a tax write off. So she wouldn't have to pay more taxes. Little do you know, there's a certain threshold you had to meet to also get that money, right? Not everyone got that, but I just feel like when there's so much time on our hands and we're bored with nothing to do. Of course, she looks like the Satan princess.

[00:40:33] Dwayne: So when you say we're bored, you mean the beehive or just anyone?

[00:40:36] Ally: The beehive and anyone I think anyone really. I just think like it's just because she's so perfect looking. You, you just have nothing but time to dissect her.

[00:40:45] Cat: Honestly, she really is perfect looking. Like even her legs are just like lanky, long legs.

[00:40:50] Ally: Everything. And then, like, she might have all these insecurities, but we're just sitting over here like, nope, the hair. all of it's in place when she's over here. Like I told you, I wanted a side swoop.

[00:40:59] Dwayne: But that's another thing. Like one of the Ten Commandments is like, uh, no, false idols don't worship anyone who's not God. Right. So when you have something.

[00:41:08] Ally: Unless it's Beyonce.

[00:41:09] Dwayne: Right? Either one of those things when you.

[00:41:11] Koji: Or Tupac.

[00:41:11] Dwayne: You just feel like like if you're if your team them if your team beehive or Swifty, it's fine. But if you're not, you're like, ah, this seems a little, you know what I mean? It's like watching, uh, no disrespect, but watching the Kirk funeral where you're like this, this just seems there's something.

[00:41:27] Koji: Yeah.

[00:41:28] Dwayne: I mean, if you were one of them, you probably were, like, inspired, but not being one of them, it just felt off.

[00:41:33] Koji: It is interesting what you're saying, though, because it got me to thinking that, you know, like when we're all, I think probably around the same age, except for Cat, who's like 20 years younger than me,

[00:41:41] Dwayne: Ally too

[00:41:43] Ally: I was like, I was like.

[00:41:44] Koji: 20 years younger than us but like, but when we were kids. Dwayne I'm just talking to Dwayne now. Like, there was a lot of like, there was a lot of huge stars, right? Like the media machine would make huge stars. And I think there's a lot less huge stars. And Taylor Swift is one of the few that like like you could be like 100 years old.

[00:42:01] Cat: Like one of the last ones before. She's like.

[00:42:03] Ally: Infinite.

[00:42:03] Cat: But she just took off.

[00:42:05] Dwayne: And this just takes nothing away from her talent. I'm not saying she's not talented, but she's just as manufactured as those others.

[00:42:11] Koji: Yeah, and but it's weird that they don't they don't make them like, as like. I mean, it's one I was just having a meeting with somebody. Like, if you look at all my movies, it's like Mel Gibson, Samuel Jackson, Mickey Rourke, like, these are all stars of, like, you know, like 20 years ago, 30 years ago. And they're just not making those kinds of stars. I mean, the media is not making but Taylor Swift is.

[00:42:29] Dwayne: Hosting SNL half the time. I don't even know the person.

[00:42:31] Koji: Yeah,

[00:42:32] Cat: I think you're all just old? I think that's why you don't know him.

[00:42:35] Koji: No, no, but like before, you know. But before you'd have a star. And then you could, like, make a movie just around that star, and then it'd be like in every theater because there's only five movies that came out that month.

[00:42:45] Dwayne: Things are more fragmented now.

[00:42:46] Koji: Yeah,

[00:42:47] Ally: But we also didn't have as many categories.

[00:42:49] Koji: Yes, correct.

[00:42:50] Ally: We have influencer. We have celebrity. We also have like like I was watching this interview that Matthew McConaughey did. Right? Like, technically, if you think about it, if he would have started his career maybe 20 years prior than.

[00:43:00] Koji: He would be huge.

[00:43:01] Ally: He would be huge. But I feel like he would have stayed in that rom com lane versus taking the risk that he took to go. Dramatic. Yeah. And so because you can't really branch out. So where we are with like just our access to fame and to get there like the guy who streams with all like the celebrities. Now who's that one dude with the dreads, that black guy who's like, super huge. Do you know what I'm talking about? Kevin Hart's on his stream like Kim Kardashian.

[00:43:25] Cat: I don't know this guy. I'm thinking of the hot, hot wings guy, though.

[00:43:29] Ally: Oh.

[00:43:29] Cat: Hot wings.

[00:43:30] Ally: I'm dead hot ones. I love hot ones, but I can't remember his name. I think is Kai or something, but he's really huge, right? But he's considered like a superstar celebrity, and it's kind of like, I don't know, like Taylor is last of like that ilk. Like, I feel like Ariana Grande came a little bit after that.

[00:43:44] Koji: But she's still not as big, though.

[00:43:46] Ally: She's still not as big. But she had that machine.

[00:43:48] Cat: They're very niche. And I think, like you, you guys proved it because like the fact that there's people you haven't heard and they're on SNL, but in the day, it wouldn't matter what age you were, you would know who Robert De Niro was.

[00:44:00] Koji: Yes correct.

[00:44:01] Dwayne: Exactly.

[00:44:01] Cat: But now it's fragmented.

[00:44:02] Koji: Or Arnold Schwarzenegger. Everyone's like.

[00:44:04] Cat: Everyone knows. 

[00:44:05] Dwayne: So when something is that sort of ubiquitous, it maybe, maybe now, maybe it felt natural, then this seems to be something unnatural about it. So I think that's why people come up with these theories. But I love the Beyonce thing because I like that means that Swifties are kind of like they take the high road more than.

[00:44:22] Ally: Oh no, that's not what I'm saying. No, no, no.

[00:44:24] Dwayne: Don't say anything.

[00:44:25] Ally: No, no. I'm sorry. Oh I'm sorry. No no no I'm sorry. Let's let's rephrase because I'm part of the hive. Um, I was using that as an analogy. I wasn't saying that we actually have the time to do this because we don't care. Because it's Beyonce. Um, what? But like I'm, I'm saying, like, in general, like, people have nothing but time to come up with these things. Like, I've also seen it like just with Asian culture, like before there was Instagram and before there was Facebook and stuff like that. There was already apps like that in Asia, right? Where they would go ham and crazy over celebrities and talk things and like it would just like you could crush a celebrity in one day if they found out you had a drug habit, right? And then like, we get social media in the West, but like they had that already. There was like other apps that it was called. Right. And I feel like people like they really just are trolls out there with nothing to do.

[00:45:09] Dwayne: Oh, no, I remember.

[00:45:10] Ally: And like, people would just do that to them. Like they would just be like, I have this theory or I saw blah blah blah. And you could if you get people on it, they will crush it.

[00:45:17] Dwayne: I remember these two guys talking about some rapper and literally one said, oh, he has some disease or something. And the other one goes, oh no, that's that was my rumor. Like literally like I started that rumor. And back in the day it would be like the Beastie Boys. Well, one is really dead now, but it would be like the Beastie Boys died or such and such is on drugs. And it was just. But it would take months to, like, work its way through.

[00:45:41] Cat: Hey, is Morgan Freeman still alive? I feel like that's one where there.

[00:45:43] Ally: Is Tupac alive. Is biggie alive? Are they on an island?

[00:45:47] Dwayne: Well, it's time for us to pick the unofficial official story, one that will answer this question once and for all. So which theory do we want to go with today?

[00:45:55] Koji: Can we just call him Asian, please?

[00:45:56] Ally: I'm I honestly let's say like what the most creative theory. The most creative.

[00:46:01] Koji: Is the Asian one.

[00:46:02] Ally: It is it is the Asian clone one. I will give it to you now it is the most unlikely. But I will give you plus ten points for creativity.

[00:46:10] Koji: Are you gonna vote? Just say you're gonna vote for it. It's fine.

[00:46:11] Ally: Yeah, I vote for it.

[00:46:12] Koji: Oh, there you go.

[00:46:14] Ally: I can't, it was really creative.

[00:46:15] Koji: Okay, I just need one more. 

[00:46:16] Cat: Out there.

[00:46:17] Koji: I just need one more. Hey, Dwayne. Why don't you vote for mine?

[00:46:19] Cat: I'm voting for my own.

[00:46:21] Dwayne: Well, she's voting for this woman is her mom.

[00:46:24] Koji: Yeah.

[00:46:24] Ally: Mhm. Mhm.

[00:46:25] Dwayne: See, I would vote for yours Ally but you won't pin it to the beehive. You're just saying like.

[00:46:29] Ally: How dare you. I can never say this.

[00:46:31] Dwayne: Everyone's a little bit, you know. Everyone's restless.

[00:46:35] Ally: You see me trying to walk it back?

[00:46:36] Koji: If you vote for yours, then I win.

[00:46:38] Dwayne: Right. Cause you're gonna vote for yours.

[00:46:39] Koji: Yeah, I voted for mine.

[00:46:40] Dwayne: But see, that's why I'm gonna vote for Cats.

[00:46:43] Koji: Oh. Oh. It's a tie.

[00:46:49] Ally: That's hilarious.

[00:46:50] Dwayne: Plus, Cat won last time, and I just to be arbitrary and to be, uh, contrarian. I didn't vote for hers. I think this is because she was gonna win anyway.

[00:46:58] Koji: This is racism. This is a perfect. This is textbook racism right here.

[00:47:02] Dwayne: Well, it's just. It's just. It's just saying it's like photocopies that.

[00:47:05] Koji: Yeah.

[00:47:07] Ally: But they do invent a lot of things, and, like. Like, they really are good at manufacturing. They got labs, you know like. I don't know, I'm just thinking I'm adding the science to it.

[00:47:18] Koji: We're really smart.

[00:47:19] Cat: Racist.

[00:47:21] Dwayne: Right, right.

[00:47:22] Ally: Anyway.

[00:47:22] Koji: Okay.

[00:47:23] Dwayne: All right. So do we have the is there some. Do we have a mechanism for both.

[00:47:28] Cat: No. 

[00:47:28] Koji: They're both both theory. Both theories are right.

[00:47:30] Dwayne: Okay.

[00:47:31] Koji: That's what we say now.

[00:47:32] Cat: Okay. And that's the official story. We'll take another break and we'll come back and ask a few more. Taylor Swift conspiracy questions.

[00:47:42] Koji: There are tons of Taylor Swift conspiracies. Let's do a quick yay or nay on whether you believe they could be real. So she only carries empty purses. Very important. Taylor Swift iconic forearm purse pose has sparked theories that her bags are empty as they are effortlessly chic. Yay or nay?

[00:47:57] Ally: I think there's a quarter in there.

[00:47:59] Dwayne: I say, well, it depends on where her phone is, but nowadays you only need your phone. So I say yay!

[00:48:04] Cat: I'd say nay cause you want your phone and you want your lipstick.

[00:48:08] Dwayne: But she has someone else carrying it all, I think.

[00:48:10] Ally: Um.

[00:48:10] Koji: Interns.

[00:48:11] Ally: She's she's a I don't know, she's a country girl, too. I feel like I will give her, like, just some a little bit of humility. I say she has something in there. I think it's a candy bar or a quarter.

[00:48:21] Dwayne: Like in case of blood sugar gets a little low or something like that.

[00:48:24] Cat: Something like a candy bar, a chapstick and a tampon.

[00:48:27] Ally: Mhm. Or coke? I don't know.

[00:48:28] Dwayne: Huh.

[00:48:29] Koji: All right. She has no belly button. Taylor Swift's love of high waisted fashion sparked a bizarre internet theory that she lacked a belly button until she casually debunked it with a bikini pic and a wink to the Photoshop crowd. Yay or Nay, do we think she has a belly button?

[00:48:43] Ally: I think it's innie

[00:48:44] Koji: She has. No, she has no belly. Oh, uh.

[00:48:46] Dwayne: I think she does. What would be the implication of not having one? What would that mean?

[00:48:50] Koji: She's Asian.

[00:48:50] Ally: I'm dead.

[00:48:51] Dwayne: No, I mean like, you're like, weren't born, right?

[00:48:54] Koji: Yeah.

[00:48:54] Cat: So I say nay. She does have a belly button.

[00:48:56] Koji: Yeah. Nay.

[00:48:57] Ally: Oh my bad. Yeah. Nay. She does have a belly button.

[00:48:59] Dwayne: I say she has a belly button. So whatever she does this is like a proposition. You don't know what am I voting? Yes. What's going on?

[00:49:08] Koji: She has an evil twin who lives in Japan. This theory serves up a full combo meal of internet absurdity, claiming Taylor Swift's exiled her burger loving evil twin Japan, as proven by McDonald's ad and her own cheeseburger fueled songwriting habits. It's obviously a yay.

[00:49:22] Ally: Cheeseburger fueled songwriting habit.

[00:49:24] Dwayne: This goes back to my theory like, this is another trick that looks like her, right? That's because this evil twin isn't Asian. It's just evil twin that lives in Japan, right?

[00:49:31] Koji: She's Asian. That's what I'm reading.

[00:49:33] Cat: I'm gonna say nay. Just to be mean to Koji. I'm gonna crap all over your Asian dreams.

[00:49:40] Dwayne: I'm gonna say yay on this one.

[00:49:43] Ally: Yeah, we're just gonna come back to reality. Nay.

[00:49:47] Koji: All right. She's actually named Becky. This is hilarious. In classic Tumblr fashion, a 2012 post claiming a photo of young.

[00:49:54] Dwayne: That girl looked just like her, too. But go ahead.

[00:49:56] Koji: Claiming a photo of young Taylor Swift was actually a girl named Becky who died of a drug overdose sparked a viral inside joke, one Swift herself embraced by wearing a no. It's Becky's shirt immortalizing Becky in pop culture lore. Yay or nay?

[00:50:09] Ally: Nay?

[00:50:10] Dwayne: I'm gonna say yay only because she wore the shirt. I think it's one of these hiding in plain sight kind of things.

[00:50:16] Koji: Yeah. That's good, I like that. I'm going. Yay! Did you find the picture?

[00:50:19] Cat: Oh my God, that looks just like her.

[00:50:22] Koji: Really? Let's see.

[00:50:23] Cat: Holy. Wow. Like, it's so much so that I was like that can't possibly be Becky.

[00:50:29] Ally: Oh, wow.

[00:50:30] Koji: That doesn't look anything like.

[00:50:31] Ally: Wow.

[00:50:31] Koji: Does that look her?

[00:50:32] Dwayne: That looks like her

[00:50:33] Ally: It's pre nose job. That's so.

[00:50:35] Dwayne: It's not as the girl in a commercial looks exactly like it.

[00:50:39] Ally: Mind you if she's never had one. I've just gotta say, I don't know who like,

[00:50:43] Cat: Here, look.

[00:50:44] Ally: How did you structure it?

[00:50:44] Cat: It's kind of the same picture, but different. Bigger.

[00:50:47] Dwayne: But that looks like it could have been photoshopped, right?

[00:50:49] Cat: I mean, anything could be photoshopped, but. Yeah, I think it's her. Yep. She's Becky.

[00:50:54] Koji: Okay.

[00:50:55] Ally: Yeah.

[00:50:55] Koji: She's a member of the Illuminati. In true A-list fashion, Taylor Swift's obsession with the number 13 tattooed across her career milestones and even her hand has fueled conspiracy theorists claim that she's a proud member of the Illuminati numerology club.

[00:51:08] Cat: No, she is not in the Illuminati. She is in Ms 13. Duh.

[00:51:14] Dwayne: Funny.

[00:51:14] Ally: That's so funny. Okay. But like here's everyone always like, yes, I do think all of them are in the Illuminati. But just a question though, like because when like, why do we say like, oh, they're in the Illuminati? Because they repeat certain things like Beyonce and four Beyonce and like a lot of the stuff she likes to say, right. But like Koji, what's something, what's a common I forget the $5 word, what this word is. But anyway, what's something common that you put in your films and your writing? Because you will put something like that's like a it's like it's a reoccurring theme. Right. There we go. What's a reoccurring theme that you put in your own writing?

[00:51:46] Koji: Mine is, uh, any character I like is smoking a cigarette because I think people who smoke cigarettes are cool, even though I don't smoke cigarettes. But I bought into the idea as a child that smoking cigarettes made you cool. So every time I like a character, they smoke.

[00:51:59] Ally: Oh. Okay. Wait, cat. Same thing for you. What's a reoccurring theme you put in your stand up?

[00:52:03] Cat: I have a tic where I always go like, oh my gosh.

[00:52:06] Ally: Mhm.

[00:52:07] Cat: Oh my gosh. You guys like so that it's not on purpose. I really don't want to do that. I want to cancel that out. But.

[00:52:13] Ally: But it's your tick.

[00:52:14] Cat: It's the tick.

[00:52:15] Ally: Mhm.

[00:52:15] Cat: Um you guys.

[00:52:16] Ally: Um.

[00:52:17] Cat: You guys.

[00:52:17] Dwayne: Right.

[00:52:18] Cat: Mhm. Yeah.

[00:52:19] Ally: What about you Dwayne.

[00:52:20] Dwayne: Well in writing if I write like a, like a sitcom episode I don't know. I always like to end the episode. I have to like fight not to. I like to end the episode with everyone going out to eat. I don't know why like something happened. It was resolved. Hey guys, let's go out to eat, you know, and I'm not even that guy in real life. But something about, like, I just think all the characters should, like, be together at the end, like, physically be together. And, um, stand up wise, I know there's a lot of a lot of analogies. Uh, I do like saying something that I don't believe and then proving, like saying like like I'll say white people are the best dancers, and then everyone's like, then I'm proving that they are, but then it's just a joke. And at the end they're not, you know what I mean? So like doing that kind of a bait and switch kind of thing.

[00:53:09] Ally: Uh.

[00:53:10] Dwayne: Um, And, uh. Yeah. You know, any, any kind of, like, comparison, uh, that that, like a ridiculous comparison of things I like. I like doing that as well.

[00:53:20] Cat: I think I have. Okay, I always talk about religion. Um, that's my go to. I think that's my signature.

[00:53:26] Ally: It's real. Yeah.

[00:53:27] Koji: It's real. Now.

[00:53:29] Dwayne: This is the girl. This is the 1970s commercial of the woman that looks like her.

[00:53:32] Koji: Oh, that looks. 

[00:53:33] Ally: Oh,

[00:53:33] Cat: That also looks like her

[00:53:35] Koji: That looks more like her than that picture.

[00:53:37] Ally: Yeah.

[00:53:38] Cat: You guys, I think.

[00:53:40] Dwayne: Bananas.

[00:53:41] Cat: Taylor Swift is a time traveler like Nicolas Cage.

[00:53:43] Ally: I'm dead. I you know what? You know what? I'm always here for the Nicolas Cage stories,

[00:53:50] Cat: I don't know if you guys have played, uh, World of Warcraft, but there is one type of character that's like a it's a mage. And one of their powers is that they can, like, clone themselves. So here's a new theory. What if Zeena Schreck is Taylor Swift, but she managed to, like, not clone like? Well, I guess clone is the right word. It's like she projects.

[00:54:09] Ally: Duplicate. Is she astral projecting.

[00:54:11] Cat: Yeah, like astral projecting into another like physical body. Like it is her. But it's like young her and having a completely different life.

[00:54:18] Koji: With a dad that wasn't the leader of the Church of Satan.

[00:54:21] Cat: Well, you know, he's a billionaire, and there's no.

[00:54:23] Ally: I mean, you don't know what fountain of youth they found or what El Dorado tour they went on with all that money?

[00:54:28] Koji: No, no. But also the point is that. Like. Like she she might feel wrong that her life was so, like, put in a path. I mean, when your dad's a church leader of the Church of Satan, you have a path. But maybe she's like, I don't want to be on that path, and.

[00:54:40] Ally: I want to be.

[00:54:40] Koji: Taylor Swift is the version of like, the path that was like more normal. 

[00:54:44] Ally: Alter ego.

[00:54:45] Koji: Yeah, like a like a normal. A normal path of a normal girl who could and grew up to be big.

[00:54:50] Ally: I could only wish that people would have a podcast talking about me like this. Oh my God.

[00:54:55] Dwayne: Wait, I did a show in the middle of nowhere. Um, no disrespect to Middle of Nowhere, but it was somewhere in Illinois, like maybe three hours from Chicago, right? And a little theater. It was nice.

[00:55:07] Koji: You said this last episode.

[00:55:08] Dwayne: Yeah, because this is Taylor Swift impersonator who's, like, filling up theaters.

[00:55:12] Cat: Oh, yeah.

[00:55:13] Dwayne: Like 5000 seat theaters.

[00:55:15] Koji: Did she look like Taylor?

[00:55:16] Dwayne: Um, I don't I don't remember, I think she's just blonde. I don't think she looks like, exactly like her, but she's doing her songs, and, um, people are going screaming. You know, if you can't afford Taylor, if she doesn't come to your town, this girl is making, like, probably a few million a year doing this.

[00:55:31] Cat: Well, you know who else is doing other people's songs? Taylor Swift is doing other people's songs, right? Oh, my God, can we.

[00:55:38] Ally: Can we just talk about the album real quick? Because that was part of my notes, and I wrote this on a card for a reason, let me tell you. So this is another theory that I came across just a few of her fans. They were like, is she purposely writing awful music? So that way we won't care about her anymore so she can go off and live her life and have her family.

[00:55:55] Dwayne: I like that theory.

[00:55:56] Cat: Interesting theory. I have another one.

[00:55:58] Dwayne: The only way to get out of the Illuminati. But go ahead.

[00:56:01] Cat: Okay, but like, I hope like put on your hats for this one. There are several songs on the album that are basically almost carbon copies of other pop songs. The specific two biggest culprits are life of a Showgirl and Opalite. So Opalite is a copy of Circles by Post Malone.

[00:56:23] Ally: Oh.

[00:56:24] Cat: And then life of a showgirl is a very close copy of cool by the Jonas Brothers. But here's the connection that made me think this isn't just like random incompetence. Yeah, this is on purpose. Because if you look at the lyrics to cool by the Jonas Brothers, it references Post Malone. It's an Easter egg. Okay, now let's take another step back. All right. So, so Opalite is about the happiness of the new world.

[00:56:53] Dwayne: I do have my hat on because my mind is blown.

[00:56:56] Cat: Then if you listen to the lyrics of circles, circles is actually about a turbulent, like, on and off toxic relationship I think she's trying to tell us that her relationship with Travis is actually toxic. It's not all it's cracked up to be. And then if you combine that with the fact that she has a song called Elizabeth Taylor, she's trying to tell us,

[00:57:14] Ally: Oh my God. And I am like a Liz taylor fan. What?

[00:57:19] Cat: Yeah, she knows.

[00:57:21] Dwayne: In front of our eyes the whole time.

[00:57:22] Ally: You guys are you listening? This. This makes more sense than the alien Asian clone. Like what? Okay.

[00:57:32] Cat: And all of these copycat songs, they're each a message. She knows full well that she just made a bunch of songs that sound like other songs. It is by design. Nothing Taylor does.

[00:57:42] Ally: She did this so that we would also keep talking about it to.

[00:57:44] Dwayne: Those other songs were popular. And so sonically, she's like, people like what? Sounds familiar?

[00:57:49] Ally: Okay,

[00:57:50] Cat: No, but she doesn't do that. Like, that's not a thing she does. Like she's written like hundreds of songs.

[00:57:54] Ally: But here's the thing, though, there is I did see, um, someone who's a violinist who went to music school, like, cause I know you guys sent me the script, like just a few hours before. And I did my research and I was really I cared before I came here.

[00:58:05] Koji: Thank you for caring.

[00:58:06] Ally: You're welcome. And so when I was doing my research on, like, just theories, I typed in TikTok. Taylor Swift. I was like, I'm gonna come up with the best ones. But another one that I wasn't going to bring up. She went to music school, and she said, the reason why we're attracted to her music is because of the runs that she puts in it. So like, she'll do like certain things, like with these E and R or whatever, you have to watch the video. But like they're saying that it like will. It's like it's all to it's all to like, yes, it's all to like generate a response from you. Because just like if you think about it, certain songs that have that cadence of what she does because I don't like her music at all. I think it's very simple. I didn't think she got great with songwriting until Blank Spaces. That was the first time I heard something that didn't sound. I love him, he loves me, and we rhyme with the word blue. I don't know, but like, it just made more sense. Um, when she said that because I was like, her music is very catchy, right? There's nothing to it. It's just it's like Britney Spears. Rinse and repeat. You know.

[00:59:02] Cat: It's very effortless. But I do see something like there is a similar pattern, a lot of it. There's like an ethereal quality to it and like no shade but shade also, um, I listened to the whole album in like one sitting, and I didn't realize that there were separate songs. I was just.

[00:59:17] Dwayne: Like a house music.

[00:59:18] Cat: It's over, like. But she does have like a certain, like vibe throughout.

[00:59:23] Dwayne: Ally. Play Quick question. This is gonna, um, when you take Adderall, right?

[00:59:28] Ally: Yeah.

[00:59:31] Dwayne: Do you talk faster or slower?

[00:59:33] Ally: Funny. Um, I do talk much faster than this.

[00:59:37] Dwayne: Faster than this?

[00:59:37] Ally: Much faster. But like.

[00:59:39] Dwayne: Adderall. I want to see this.

[00:59:40] Ally: I'm telling you. When I tell you what, I'm on it. You're like, I get so much done and my teeth are, like, the whitest they've ever been because I brush my teeth, like, six times a day on Adderall, but, like, um, it is like. Yeah, it's just a difference because I have a hard time focusing a lot. And so like, especially with procrastination. So it'll just reign it all in. But yeah, like all my Taylor ideas, they would go even more far fetched. They would have killed man.

[01:00:03] Dwayne: We should have.

[01:00:03] Koji: We should have got it.

[01:00:04] Cat: We gotta. I gotta listen to all the Taylor songs. I'll show you.

[01:00:07] Koji: You're next.

[01:00:07] Dwayne: Okay. Well, thank you, Ally, for coming on with us. Please let us know where people can follow you.

[01:00:13] Ally: Oh, thank you guys. I've had a really great blast on this show. You guys are super awesome. And I'm not just saying that, um, you can follow me on Instagram at, oh, that's Ally. You can also follow me on TikTok as That's Ally Comedy, where I did start a Asian, um, male and black female TikTok. And then I found out that my partner was on Coke, and so I ended that. But, um, yeah, I'm on there too.

[01:00:38] Dwayne: He was on Coke. I mean, you know.

[01:00:39] Ally: Oh my God, it was so great. I had this brilliant idea. I was like, I'm gonna go TikTok famous. And I was like, what's the best way? Right?

[01:00:44] Dwayne: Right.

[01:00:45] Ally: Asian black love.

[01:00:47] Dwayne: And he's on Coke. That's unfortunate.

[01:00:48] Ally: And we blew up. Bumbled Reached out.

[01:00:50] Dwayne: To Ally oh H.

[01:00:51] Ally: Oh yeah. We blew up now is it. Bumble. Like. We were getting deals. And then I realized he was stealing my Adderall, and I was like, oh my God. And then that's when I realized what he looked like off coke. And then my friend was like, how did you not even know? And I was like, I'm sorry, girl, I'm not around people on coke. Um, how do you just see that anyway? I just, I feel like I really brought a lot of subjects to today. Anyway.

[01:01:14] Dwayne: So Coke was, um, a deal stopper, a deal breaker also.

[01:01:18] Koji: Not the drinking coke. Just to be clear.

[01:01:20] Dwayne: No, no.

[01:01:20] Ally: Not the. But also like the the voodoo and him being into Nigerian Yoruba.

[01:01:25] Cat: You just opened up a whole other door.

[01:01:27] Koji: We truly appreciate your support and enthusiasm for our quirky, mysterious and fun filled journey. Your curiosity and engagement make this podcast a joy to create. Stay tuned for more intriguing stories and remember to share, subscribe and leave a review. Until next time, keep wondering and stay unofficially official.

[01:01:41] Cat: In the next episode, we'll be asking the question is the Jersey devil haunting South Jersey, or is the Jersey devil my ex-boyfriend? Whos to say

[01:01:52] Koji: We've hit the Tribeca or Tribeca. Right? I'm talking about Asian people. You're talking about your ex-boyfriends. That's everything. We don't.

[01:02:00] Cat: Well, Dwayne didn't talk about his neighbor who's a demon. Like that's his go to.

[01:02:05] Koji: That's right, that's right, that's the right. Can you share a story?

[01:02:09] Dwayne: Well, she loves Taylor Swift. No, she, uh, she's getting up there, and, uh, she has, uh, someone taking care of her. And, uh,

[01:02:18] Koji: Does she look like Taylor swift?

[01:02:19] Dwayne: No, but I feel like the demon is switching to the her home health care health care provider.

[01:02:26] Ally: Oh my God. Uh.

[01:02:29] Dwayne: It's a slow process, but I could see because she's sort of like, sap getting sapped of energy. So she's becoming, like a regular elderly person. And then, um, the other person is starting to get that look.

[01:02:40] Koji: Okay. 

[01:02:42] Dwayne: I wish him wish him the best.

[01:02:43] Cat: Now, we really have done the trifecta, you guys.

[01:02:47] Koji: All right. Bye, everybody.

[01:02:47] Cat: Bye, everyone.

[01:02:49] Dwayne: Bye.