S5E10 The Super Bowl Sport or Scripted Spectacle

[00:00:00] Koji: Is there a game or a sport that you think this has to be scripted?

[00:00:03] Dwayne: Absolutely.

[00:00:03] Koji: What?

[00:00:04] Dwayne: Um. Well,

[00:00:05] Koji: Wrestling.

[00:00:06] Dwayne: I know scripted is the right word. Wrestling for sure. Um,

[00:00:09] Koji: No

[00:00:10] Dwayne: Obviously they admitted it at some point. Yeah, it was just growing up. It would be frustrating that every time the ref turned his head, the bad guys did something bad. And I'd be like, wow, this is uncanny. Um, but I do think, I mean, we had to talk about football, but I think basketball is. 

[00:00:26] Koji: Oh, look NBA

[00:00:28] Dwayne: Yeah, basketball is completely I wouldn't say scripted like the players in on it, but there's, there's there's.

[00:00:35] Koji: Some funky going on.

[00:00:36] Dwayne: So much rigging.

[00:00:37] Cat: Yeah I think okay. So I was gonna say like, basketball is the least likely to be scripted because I feel like, you know, making the basket is hard. Like, especially some of the, like, winning shots.

[00:00:47] Dwayne: Some people say the magnets in the ball, but. 

[00:00:50] Cat: No, because it's the same ball. Like there's no switching out the ball. Like.

[00:00:54] Koji: Yeah. But so like if. I had a friend who was a referee for high school And one time we were talking, he's like, I can make the better, I can make the worst team win. And so all he did.

[00:01:03] Cat: Is, I mean, I think through the referees, that's how it would be. 

[00:01:07] Koji: Well the players could like miss shots. They could, you know like get hurt and stuff.

[00:01:12] Chris: Then how do you explain the New York Knicks guys. They're this fucking bad for this fucking long. If it was scripted.

[00:01:18] Dwayne: They good now.

[00:01:20] Koji: They got Patrick Ewing.

[00:01:21] Chris: What I'm saying to you is there's no way a scripted league would have Oklahoma City win the title. It doesn't make any sense.

[00:01:28] Dwayne: You're skipping ahead. But I like it. And that's Chris Bowers. He's our guest. And that's my man. 40 grand, by the way. Um, you're right. And I thought about this last year. Okc and Indiana are in the finals.

[00:01:39] Cat: Yeah that is some Trump era shit.

[00:01:41] Dwayne: There you go. I forget the colors. But they needed I think.

[00:01:44] Cat: They needed red.

[00:01:45] Dwayne: Needed red states. All of a sudden this guy who's not like box office, he's a great player. But Shay Gilgeous Alexander is getting every call. And you look at him like he's not what they picked. Like he doesn't have, like, Jordan's charisma even though he's a great player. And then you go, this is what it is. These two teams that would never make the finals, the Knicks. Here's the thing. The Knicks are always gonna sell out. So they didn't need to be that good because people keep going.

[00:02:10] Koji: They have to be good enough to be good enough.

[00:02:12] Dwayne: They have to like, make the playoffs every few years.

[00:02:14] Koji: What about any other sport? Any other sport that's scripted?

[00:02:18] Dwayne: Well, I'll tell you what's not scripted. And I'm starting to like, gravitate toward is tennis right. Because just two people, the ball is in or out and that's it.

[00:02:26] Koji: Yeah. With the tennis player could fuck it up.

[00:02:28] Cat: Exactly. Like you can be a really accurate tennis player and throw it easily.

[00:02:34] Dwayne: Like fucking a goat or something, then yeah, they're compromised. Who knows what they're gonna do.

[00:02:38] Chris: Is that why you invited me here? I told you that in confidence. Son of a bitch. Listen.

[00:02:46] Dwayne: But, but but in terms of, like, the judge can only mess with it. But so much, you know? And there's technology now to show you the ball going in and out, whether it's in or out and so. 

[00:02:56] Cat: Have you ever seen the video of Serena Williams? Uh, like hitting the tennis ball and, like, knocking the cap off a water bottle?

[00:03:04] Dwayne: Yeah, I saw that. But is that a real thing like.

[00:03:06] Cat: It was before AI so I think it's real.

[00:03:09] Chris: Yeah.

[00:03:09] Koji: There was a time before AI.

[00:03:11] Cat: Yeah.

[00:03:11] Dwayne: But the thing is, that's when someone's hitting her a ball that she can hit easily.

[00:03:16] Cat: Okay, fair. Yeah.

[00:03:17] Dwayne: If the if the person hitting you the ball doesn't want you to hit it, it's hard for you.

[00:03:22] Cat: And they can hit it with a certain spin and all of that. So okay. Okay.

[00:03:26] Chris: Sure. But well I so I think I might this might be the wrong podcast for me. I have plenty of conspiracy theories, but sports I think is the only thing that's actually real in the world. Like I really don't think like, and only because there's no way that Serena Williams would ever lose on purpose for any. She's already a billionaire and these people live and die for winning. That's all they care about. There's no way they would lose on purpose for any amount of money. Like, unless they.

[00:03:52] Dwayne: They have to be compromised in some kind of way

[00:03:53] Chris: I think if you had. I think if you had Venus Williams, Serena's sister, in a in a cabin with a gun to her head, Serena would still win the Wimbledon. Let her get shot in the head because she's a competitor. That's what I'm saying. These sports people are not going to give it. Now, at the middle level where they're poor and they maybe you could probably some college point fixing and whatever. But like as far as like professional athletes being scripted, there's no way that.

[00:04:16] Koji: I have a friend. I have a friend that works for the for a major league baseball team. And Klaus was the pitcher. Right. From The Guardian. And the theory that has been going around the Major League Baseball was that so many players now are compromised because you could mortgage your future, or you could, like, you could sell your future earnings at any age.

[00:04:34] Dwayne: So you'd be overleveraged.

[00:04:35] Koji: So like so like they were saying that he sold himself early when he was young. And so now so much of the money is coming out that they were like, hey, we need you to throw a ball.

[00:04:44] Dwayne: But you got to understand, too. And here's the thing. Like, we're going to talk about this and I'm glad we're getting into it. And you were the perfect person. He's someone just wants. And he's invited me to football games all the time. I haven't gone yet this year, just. I haven't been into football as much, even though I like it, you know. But anyway. And, um.

[00:05:00] Cat: We needed somebody who would be really into sports to make up for me on this podcast.

[00:05:04] Chris: Well, Joe Burrow got hurt again, and there's no way Joe Burrow pretended he was hurt. So he. I mean, I'm just saying, I know, I know for sure I care about my friends comedy and then the NFL. It's my third.

[00:05:13] Dwayne: I know, I know.

[00:05:14] Chris: Above my family.

[00:05:15] Dwayne: But see, the NFL is a little different. I mean, there's a lot of moving parts. And, you know, the average person doesn't understand all the rules. But NFL and NBA, the thing is you can win and still lose. And that's the thing. The point spread is the rub because no one's asking you to lose a game. They're saying just win by less actually.

[00:05:36] Chris: And that goes back to Classe the Classe guy what they said he was doing, which this I would buy I would buy this in a if you're betting like, uh, prop bets that the first pitch is going to be a ball. So Classe had a 1.6 year or 1.16 ERA for the league. He was like he was the best reliever in the league, right? But he threw, he threw. So he knows he can throw a fast ball and still strike the guy out, right? So that's where he was doing. He was saying, all right, I'll throw a first ball. And all his friends would bet money or whatever, which.

[00:06:03] Dwayne: I think is a thing that you can.

[00:06:04] Koji: I think I think prop bets are what actually, that's the easy thing to throw. Like I'm gonna miss a free throw. I'm gonna throw a ball, I'm gonna.

[00:06:11] Chris: That I buy that, that.

[00:06:12] Koji: My first, my first throw is going to be there's going to be a missed catch or something, you know, like those are easier to do because they don't. You can still win, right? You can still. 

[00:06:20] Dwayne: You can still win. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:06:28] Cat: Welcome to the unofficial official Story podcast. This is episode ten of season five. Join us as we dive into the quirky, mysterious and bizarre. From unsolved mysteries to peculiar pop culture phenomena, we uncover hidden stories and explore alternate realities. My name is Cat. Um. Um, Cat Kelsey. Because I'm gonna pretend there's a third brother.

[00:06:55] Dwayne: I like it.

[00:06:55] Cat: In my alternate reality.

[00:06:56] Dwayne: Oh, I like. And you, you're gonna link up with this third?

[00:06:59] Cat: I mean, duh.

[00:07:00] Dwayne: Yeah. Okay, okay. And I'm Dwyane Brady. Not because I'm gonna hook up with Tom Brady, but because, um, I was just talking about this Tom Brady. Probably the best ever, but not because he's the most gifted, because he makes the least amount of mistakes. So he made the least amount of mistakes. So that's my thing going into the new year. I want to make the least amount of mistakes.

[00:07:19] Koji: Oh nice.

[00:07:20] Dwayne: I'm Tom Brady.

[00:07:21] Koji: And I'm.

[00:07:21] Dwayne: Wayne Brady. Excuse me.

[00:07:24] Koji: And I'm a Koji Sakai. This guy named after my son. So.

[00:07:26] Cat: Oh, that's so cute. And he's your favorite sport.

[00:07:30] Koji: He's my favorite sports player.

[00:07:31] Dwayne: Yeah, but not Wayne Brady.

[00:07:32] Chris: So yeah I was gonna say oh Wayne Brady. This is about sports. How dorky are you?

[00:07:38] Cat: Look, comedy. Sports improv.

[00:07:40] Chris: Yeah. Right. Right. Talk about not scripted, huh?

[00:07:46] Dwayne: Um, okay. Got a theory or mystery you want us to explore? Send it our way. And we might feature it as an upcoming episode.

[00:07:53] Koji: It's January, so the 60th Super Bowl is coming up. Today, though, we're going to take a look at the past one. Was the 2024 Super Bowl scripted?

[00:08:05] Cat: However, before we get to that, let's introduce our guest, comedian Chris Bowers.

[00:08:10] Dwayne: Yes, Chris Bowers is a great comic. We met in Indiana. Although you're from not from Indiana.

[00:08:17] Chris: I'm from Indiana.

[00:08:18] Dwayne: Oh, you are okay. Yeah.

[00:08:19] Chris: I mean, I was born in Ohio, but I've been Indianapolis since like fourth grade, so I count Indiana. 

[00:08:23] Dwayne: From Indiana. Uh, really. 

[00:08:24] Cat: Poser. 

[00:08:25] Dwayne: Uh, has some great takes on life in addition to owning a comedy club, being a great comic, also a motivational speaker. He's done that for years, opened for Jeff Dye. We can talk about that.

[00:08:36] Cat: Wow. My favorite.

[00:08:38] Dwayne: I think. I think that's maybe sarcasm. Um, anyway, uh, my good friend Chris Bowers is with us.

[00:08:44] Chris: What's up guys? How are we excited to be here. 

[00:08:45] Dwayne: Awesome man. Thank you for joining us.

[00:08:47] Koji: What's your favorite football team?

[00:08:48] Chris: I'm a Cincinnati Bengals fan. Uh, which sucks. But you know, you're born into it. You know there's nothing you can do about it. You're not allowed to switch.

[00:08:55] Koji: Are you a Reds fan?

[00:08:56] Chris: Since I'm a Bengals fan and a Reds fan. And then I was a Pacers fan until I bought the comedy club in Indianapolis, and then I couldn't be a Patriots fan anymore because if we went to the finals. four Saturdays in a row, out the door and I'm out of business. So when I bought a comedy club, three things changed in my life. I had to root for bad weather. I had to root for our sports team to suck. And I my idea of what a good bartender changed 180 degrees.

[00:09:18] Dwayne: What was your idea of a good bartender?

[00:09:19] Chris: One that hooked me up and gave me free shit. And then once I owned a bar, I'm like, fuck that. Stealing ass Motherfucker. That's a whole different thing.

[00:09:26] Dwayne: And so what's your second favorite sport after football?

[00:09:29] Chris: Um. I mean, I like the NBA and the final and, like, I like the NCAA tournament, like for basketball. I like the NBA kind of baseball I'm okay with, but I'm just a huge football guy.

[00:09:43] Cat: Like question, question. If you woke up tomorrow and you were a woman, what sport would you play? Like? You're a woman, but you're good at sports.

[00:09:50] Koji: Oh, I don't believe it.

[00:09:52] Cat: Yeah.

[00:09:53] Dwayne: Good question.

[00:09:56] Cat: Oh, I stumped you.

[00:09:57] Dwayne: Is there a woman football?

[00:09:58] Chris: I'm not a sports. No. I like to play sports. I'm not a big. I don't like to play sports. I just like to watch them.

[00:10:05] Dwayne: Right. I got you.

[00:10:06] Chris: So, like, I probably wouldn't like to me sports just standing around for an hour, hoping I don't fuck something up. So I don't need that kind of pressure in my life.

[00:10:12] Dwayne: And you do comedy and that's that's a sport. Comedy is like boxing, you know? It's like. 

[00:10:16] Cat: It is, it is, it is. I would agree with that. 

[00:10:19] Dwayne: By yourself. You know, um.

[00:10:21] Cat: Getting punched in the face by rejection.

[00:10:23] Dwayne: Football.

[00:10:23] Chris: Oh, that looks like terrible. A bunch of people killing you.

[00:10:27] Dwayne: Like.

[00:10:27] Cat: Oh, like rugby.

[00:10:28] Dwayne: I don't like rugby. Rugby's okay.

[00:10:30] Cat: I like rugby players.

[00:10:31] Dwayne: But here's the thing. Rugby and I figured this out. I'm sure I'm not the only one. You know, like the end of a football game. Like one team is down by more than three, but they're not in field goal range. This is the last play. They need a touchdown and they throw it to a guy. And then they keep lateraling the ball and the band is on the field. So the last minute of football is rugby. That's all of rugby. But AFL, I got into it. I had to look up the rules because it always looked like nonsense. It's actually a really good, good game. I like it more than rugby and that game would be hard to fix. It's just too much going on. You can kick the ball. You can. The only thing, the only problem is you can't run. You don't run and score.

[00:11:12] Cat: It sounds like the MMA of football like or. Mhm. Yeah MMA.

[00:11:17] Dwayne: And there's an American who went over there and did really well. Some guy from Texas.

[00:11:22] Chris: I think it'd be a women's volleyball player. That seemed like I think they like the. 

[00:11:25] Koji: Beach volleyball.

[00:11:25] Chris: No. The indoor, they look like they party.

[00:11:27] Cat: Yeah. That sounds fun.

[00:11:28] Chris: I just want.

[00:11:30] Koji: To do beach volleyball. Where? Such revealing outfits. I mean, I mean, I don't I don't I'm it's.

[00:11:35] Dwayne: The beach is hot.

[00:11:36] Koji: Yeah. I mean.

[00:11:36] Cat: Probably because Jeffrey Epstein mandated it.

[00:11:39] Koji: I appreciate.

[00:11:40] Chris: Regular volleyball inside volleyball players don't wear. I mean, it's the tightest like, because if you touch the the technical definitions, if you touch the net with your clothes, then you lose the point. So they wear really skintight stuff so they know exactly where their shirt.

[00:11:53] Cat: Nah. I think the coach who designated this was probably a perv.

[00:11:56] Chris: And then men invented this thing and like, well, if women play sports, let's make them wear at least skimpy outfits and I'll give you that.

[00:12:02] Dwayne: But I love volleyball bodies, women. But I also like women's softball bodies, you know, I mean, I have that kind of range.

[00:12:11] Cat: I don't even know.

[00:12:12] Chris: What that is. He's black, I don't know.

[00:12:14] Koji: Well, actually, softball, softball. I mean, this sounds weird and pervy, I guess, but softball has changed a lot in terms of, like, even, like height. Like, there used to be two kinds of softball players, right? There was like, there were like pixie, like four foot nine, four foot ten, like little girls. Or there was like five foot five linebackers,  who were like, just ginormous human beings. Strong. But now you're seeing like, pitchers who are like six feet tall. I see right? Like, they're all like six feet. And then.

[00:12:39] Dwayne: Like, they could play volleyball.

[00:12:40] Koji: Yeah, but, like, then they're much.

[00:12:42] Cat: But they're like, volleyball is really creepy. Like, I don't like this coach.

[00:12:46] Koji: But I was like, uh, when Trump, um, got mad at, uh, uh, what's the NBA, WNBA player that got caught in Russia?

[00:12:53] Cat: Uh, Brittney.

[00:12:54] Chris: Griner?

[00:12:54] Cat: Brittney Griner.

[00:12:55] Koji: And then like, she was like they were talking about how, like she was lesbian. And then all the all the Twitter things were like, she's gonna tell her her tell him about all the rest of the WNBA. Players, you know, like and all the other athletes. Anyways. All right. Should we get started?

[00:13:08] Dwayne: Sure.

[00:13:09] Dwayne: Yeah. Let's do it. So here's the official story. There have always been accusations of the Super Bowls being scripted, but before we can really dive into the 2024 game, we need to look at past theories. Uh, but first we have to ask the question, why do people think that the Super Bowl is scripted? The general internet consensus is close to a well, why not? Football is a multi-million dollar industry, so it makes sense that everything should be manufactured. It's a sport, but at the NFL level it's also TV and audiences love good television. Other sports, specifically wrestling, are actually somewhat scripted for entertainment purposes. Wait, what? I feel like I just found out Santa is not real, you guys.

[00:13:49] Koji: Santa is not real. But elf on the shelf is real though.

[00:13:52] Cat: For sure.

[00:13:53] Koji: Elf on the shelf. My son found elf on the shelf was not real this year. It was a very big moment.

[00:13:57] Chris: Well, I really think that Santa and Elf on the shelf are why kids don't trust their parents when they're teenagers.

[00:14:01] Cat: You know what should they?

[00:14:03] Chris: Because at nine, when you wake up, when your first memories happen, the first thing you remember is your parents have lied to you about everything. And by the way, your genitals turn on. Listen to your dad like, no, he lied to me about everything. I figured out Santa wasn't real and that Darth Vader was Luke's dad. The same moment my childhood. And it was fucking scary.

[00:14:18] Dwayne: Well, I grew up in an apartment, so I kind of only ever half believed in Santa.

[00:14:22] Chris: Because there's no chimney.

[00:14:23] Dwayne: Yeah.

[00:14:23] Cat: There's no. Well, I never believed in wrestling, so there you go. But why should pro football be any different from wrestling?

[00:14:32] Koji: Sports betting also plays a part in this. Some people believe that the NFL deliberately curates games in which one team just barely wins and encouraged gambling. Someone who lost the previous year by a close margin might feel like feel like betting the following year. Still a good idea. It's also possible that scores are just close enough to make the games more entertaining,

[00:14:49] Dwayne: Right? Or that two people who want the same thing and fight for it on at that level? It's going to be close because they're they're already equally talented.

[00:14:58] Cat: Yeah, but that's such a boring answer.

[00:15:00] Koji: Yeah.

[00:15:00] Dwayne: Right. Right. Well, one theory is that the referees are responsible for deciding the victor. I think this is a stronger theory. Unbeknownst to the players in Super Bowl 54, when the Chiefs played the 49ers, the Chiefs were penalized but did not receive a single call. Some NFL fans believe the Chiefs victory was due to a biased referee who may have wanted to rig the game in the Chiefs favor. Now, I will say this the last Super Bowl that Tom Brady won, it was either that one or the one before. So either the one with the Buccaneers or the last one with the Pats. He got two roughing the passers they call two roughing the passers on the defense that were like marginal. Like they hit him as he threw the ball. Right. If you do that now, the defense you've programmed, it happened early in the game. So now you're telling them you have to run at like maybe 85% speed, because if you hit them even like a millisecond after he releases the ball, you're going to get flagged. So you're almost like making the defense less aggressive, you know?

[00:15:57] Koji: Interesting.

[00:15:57] Dwayne: What do you think about that, Chris?

[00:15:58] Chris: I think they don't want Tom Brady to get hurt.

[00:16:00] Dwayne: Right? Right.

[00:16:01] Chris: So they defensive linemen are dime a dozen where there's only one Tom Brady. There's seven good quarterbacks in the league every year. And they want them to talk about your I mean as a guy who's quarterback goes out every year. Once your quarterback's out your team sucks and everyone gives up on you. So protecting the quarterback is it's not about the outcome of the game. It's about protecting.

[00:16:20] Dwayne: Right. This is the. Super Bowl though. This is like. 

[00:16:22] Chris: Sure. But but Tom Brady I mean like you know he's still a big commodity. They they hurt him in the Super Bowl. He doesn't play the next year. They're losing tons and tons of millions of dollars. People will watch Tom Brady. 

[00:16:31] Dwayne: People might even cut off the Super Bowl game if he gets hurt in the first.

[00:16:34] Chris: Yeah, I mean, if it's, you know,

[00:16:35] Dwayne: Interesting. Yeah.

[00:16:36] Cat: Hmm. Another theory. The colors present on the Super Bowl's logo that year are the teams that are scripted to play. This has been supported a couple of times. Super Bowl. What's that? What? Lv1. What's the. I don't read Roman. I'm not Italian, you guys.

[00:16:53] Chris: That's fifty six. Yeah.

[00:16:54] Cat: Super Bowl 56 featured an orange and yellow logo for the Bengals Rams game, and a teal and red logo for an Eagles Chiefs game, and then a red and purple logo, supposedly for the Ravens and Forty-niners. However, the Chiefs played that year and beat the Ravens, so some believe that the script deciding which teams played in and won the Super Bowl was changed after the theory became popular in 2024.

[00:17:18] Koji: Nfl players haven't outright denied it. Patrick Mahomes, Travis Kelce and Adrian Foster have all poked fun at it, but there doesn't seem to be much of an effort to dispel the rumors. An exception to this is Tom Brady, who said before the 2023 season, I do think the NFL is scripted. You think I really would have played?

[00:17:34] Dwayne: Say that again.

[00:17:35] Koji: Oh, wait,

[00:17:35] Chris: Do I. 

[00:17:35] Koji: Do I oh, do I think sorry. Do I think the NFL is scripted? Do you think I really would have played along with the script that had me losing to Peyton's little brother, Eli, twice in the Super Bowl? No. Which is. 

[00:17:45] Chris: That's my entire point. These people are so competitive. They would not let anybody.

[00:17:50] Dwayne: Especially the first one he lost. David Tyree caught a football on his head. Like you can't script that really. But go ahead.

[00:17:57] Koji: Yeah. Nfl commissioner Roger Goodell also spoke out against this theory. I'm not that good of a scripter. The idea that this is within a script and a pre-planned is just nonsense. It's frankly not even worth talking about.

[00:18:08] Dwayne: Uh, to kick off their 2023 season, the NFL released an ad with comedian Keegan-Michael key and several football players entitled You Can't Make This Stuff Up. The ad poked fun at the theory, portraying a sort of writers room with Keegan-Michael key key. Excuse me? And the head of football players being labeled actors. This turned into a whole ad campaign with 16 installments hiding in plain sight. Our goal was to make the campaign tongue in cheek, humorous and clever in the way we tapped into popular memes and cultural conversations about the league, claimed Tim Ellis, the NFL's chief marketing officer. However, many believe this ad campaign to be a form of damage control a way for the NFL to pretend the concept of scripting the Super Bowl is absurd, giving them some deniability.

[00:18:54] Koji: So I will say, you know, like I worked in reality TV for a while, and when people ask me if reality TV was real, I would say no. Because if I was going to spend, if you're going to spend $500,000 per episode and I'm not going to just film random shit and hope that I have an episode, I'm going to film.

[00:19:10] Dwayne: Absolutely.

[00:19:10] Koji: And but like, if I'm playing devil's advocate, I'm not saying that I believe it, but that would be my argument. 

[00:19:15] Dwayne: 1,000%. And like, I don't even want to say this on this thing, but like, there's shows that I know people like and I never want to, like, spoil it for them. And so I don't tell them that. Oh, that's kind of planned out. Like, uh, Storage Wars, for instance.

[00:19:29] Koji: No, don't say that.

[00:19:31] Cat: You know, what I heard is scripted is Pluribus. 

[00:19:34] Dwayne: Opening up the. What did you say?

[00:19:37] Cat: Pluribus is scripted? Did you guys know that? That's not a reality show. 

[00:19:40] Koji: Office. The office is not a documentary. I'm just saying.

[00:19:42] Dwayne: Right, right.

[00:19:42] Cat: What?

[00:19:43] Dwayne: But. Yeah whenever. But the thing is, it's not only money. It's money and ego. But the thing is, ego can cancel. Ego out. Like the NBA had a scandal. A referee was.

[00:19:54] Koji: Tim Donahue.

[00:19:55] Chris: Donaghy.

[00:19:56] Koji: Donaghy? Yeah.

[00:19:57] Dwayne: And and they they kind of like the NBA did a really nice tricky thing because they put it out. They put the story out before the FBI could finish investigating. So we'll never know how.

[00:20:08] Cat: They got control of the narrative.

[00:20:09] Dwayne: Were compromised. But the issue is that those referees have been compromised. They might have wanted something different than what the NBA wanted. So so there's a there's also a thing where everyone's Individual wants and desires.

[00:20:22] Cat: That's true because different people could be bribing different referees. So it ends up being chaos. Mhm.

[00:20:28] Chris: I also don't think Jesus is rooting for any of the teams.

[00:20:30] Koji: Wait, wait. No. 

[00:20:32] Chris: We're talking about scripted. I mean like when they're like thank the Lord for this win. I'm like, I don't think the Lord had to do this win either. And that's how much I don't think it's scripted.

[00:20:39] Dwayne: They never thank the Lord for the other team losing,

[00:20:41] Chris: Right?

[00:20:41] Koji: No.

[00:20:43] Chris: Yeah.

[00:20:44] Dwayne: That's what you should be thanking him for. Thank you, Lord, for making sure they lost.

[00:20:47] Koji: So, so in youth baseball, so many kids like, put the like the cross symbol before they go up the bat with their bat. So I was I was telling my son I was like, every time they do that, next time you go up, you put a six, six, six next to it and see what they say.

[00:21:01] Cat: Everything is like I. The one reason I think it's not scripted is there's always those horrible injuries. Like I remember this was years and years ago some guy for I think Seattle Seahawks was running and then like his knee snapped sideways and you could like kind of see the bone. No one scripts that.

[00:21:18] Chris: Yeah.

[00:21:19] Dwayne: No, no.

[00:21:20] Cat: No one's breaking their knee sideways on purpose.

[00:21:22] Dwayne: Scripted is the thing. And we need to, like, dial that down. You know.

[00:21:26] Koji: Maybe we haven't given our theories. We don't know.

[00:21:28] Cat: Okay, okay. Okay. Okay. So the NFL might have still been scripting games behind the scenes in 2020 for Instagram user at the Brookhouse claimed to leak a Super Bowl script that forecast the next five victors. One of these claims was that the Kansas City Chiefs were bound to defeat the Detroit Lions in Super Bowl 59. Thank you for writing it in regular letters. Unlike earlier, uh, this was false. The Philadelphia Eagles won against the Kansas City.

[00:21:58] Koji: I get all my information about the NFL from At the Brow. That's where I get everything from.

[00:22:05] Cat: What, um. The next claims are the Houston Texans defeating the Dallas Cowboys in Super Bowl 60, and then the green Bay Packers defeating the Cincinnati Bengals in Super Bowl 61.

[00:22:17] Koji: Did that happen?

[00:22:18] Chris: That's in two years

[00:22:19] Koji: Oh, yeah. That's true sorry.

[00:22:20] Cat: Okay.

[00:22:21] Chris: 60 this year.

[00:22:21] Cat: Then we have the Chicago Bears beating the Kansas City Chiefs in Super Bowl 62, and the LA Chargers defeating Atlanta Falcons in 63. Oh that's in the future. So we don't know yet. Later another supposed script leaked on TikTok by the user at Flock Eagles. Nothing on it came true. Uh. So these scripts might just be fake. Probably.

[00:22:48] Chris: Might be.

[00:22:52] Cat: Uh.

[00:22:52] Chris: No. They found out they leaked the script, so they changed it to make me look like an idiot.

[00:22:57] Cat: Oh, no.

[00:22:57] Chris: The same people that think that the rapture is coming every 15 minutes and every ten years. There's a Mayan calendar.

[00:23:04] Cat: It's fairly easy to fake something like that. And with the username like Flock Eagles, that person was probably biased. But was the original script leak real? Possibly. Says the person who wrote this script. Probably not.

[00:23:21] Koji: Before the game itself, there was a theory that the game was going to be rigged in favor of the Kansas City Chiefs. Specifically, it would allow Travis Kelce and his girlfriend, Taylor Swift, to publicly endorse Joe Biden in his re-election campaign. I knew it was about to get to this whole Trump thing. This theory was supported by many right wing political figures, such as Fox News host Jesse Watters and a politician, former presidential candidate and currently the head of the FBI, Vivek. Vivek. Vivek. How do you say his name?

[00:23:44] Cat: Vivek.

[00:23:45] Koji: Yeah, whatever. I don't like this guy. Anyway, so at the game itself, Taylor Swift did not publicly endorse Joe Biden, so this theory was debunked. Still, the Chiefs did win. Those theorists did not have did have a 5050 chance on being right, though.

[00:23:58] Cat: Yep.

[00:23:58] Dwayne: Was the 2024 Super Bowl specifically scripted? Well, a Chiefs victory might not be the most entertaining thing that could happen. The Chiefs won in 2020 and 2023, so having the same team win again isn't the good underdog story that people love. Chiefs may just be good at football.

[00:24:14] Koji: I don't know about that.

[00:24:15] Dwayne: But let's return to the why not side of things. Maybe that consistency covers the NFL's tracks, especially as accusations of scripting became more widespread circa 2023 to 2024. The Chiefs lost the 2025 Super Bowl to the Eagles. So maybe those couple of wins made their loss even more satisfying to Eagles fans and Chiefs haters.

[00:24:38] Cat: I mean, it wouldn't it doesn't surprise me that more and more people are like it's scripted because look at what's become popular. Like the election was rigged. It's just the same emotion.

[00:24:47] Dwayne: Well, people are so used to getting that way that when they don't get their way, it's gotta be.

[00:24:50] Cat: Like, no way, this is real. Yeah, it's it's immature.

[00:24:53] Koji: Wait, the 2020 election wasn't real? Is that what we're saying?

[00:24:55] Cat: That's not what I'm saying.

[00:24:57] Dwayne: The 2024.

[00:24:58] Koji: Well, I know it's not real, because.

[00:25:00] Cat: The only elections that my person loses were rigged.

[00:25:03] Koji: The only reason that I know every election is rigged is because no Asian person has won yet. I mean, I think every election should be run by an Asian person. We rule the world.

[00:25:12] Cat: So, I mean, how do you know it isn't already?

[00:25:16] Koji: Secretly, Donald Trump is Asian. I'm just I'm putting it out there right now.

[00:25:18] Cat: Or secretly grey aliens.

[00:25:21] Koji: They're grey aliens.

[00:25:22] Cat: And they are Asian.

[00:25:23] Koji: There you go.

[00:25:23] Cat: Okay, for anybody who's new to the podcast, that is something that Koji says all the time. I am not racist, I just. All right, anyways, let's look at all of the evidence. Was a Super Bowl 2024 really scripted? When we return, we'll settle the score and find out if and maybe even why the Super Bowl was maybe scripted. Now that we've reviewed the evidence, let's give our theory.

[00:25:49] Dwayne: Well, here's the thing. Was it scripted? No, I mean, this was the year. Was Brock hurt in that Super Bowl? Do you remember Brock Purdy or whatever the.

[00:25:58] Chris: The Niners, the Niners Chiefs. Uh.

[00:26:01] Dwayne: Because it's the year that definitely the other two quarterbacks got hurt and he ended up and he himself was hurt. But I think he played.

[00:26:08] Chris: Yeah I think he played. But he had a hurt shoulder. 

[00:26:09] Dwayne: Right? Right, right. So I think I think the thing is, like the NFL makes money either way, right? But do they have, like, a wish list? Absolutely. So I think what happens is every year the NFL kind of sits and looks at the landscape of things. And because in a way, you know, they would want the Cowboys to win way more often. But the Cowboys are kind of like the Yankees, kind of like the Knicks. That money is flowing, so you don't really need them to win for like Dallas fans to be always locked in and that to always be sold out. So I think the NFL is at the beginning of the year they get together. Who do we want to win? They sort of like put things in place to help them win, but also that's determined by like whoever the president is like, you know, it's like a think tank of people. And they say, these are the people we would like to win, but not everyone's in on it. So they don't always get their way. But I think they start with who they would like to win. Absolutely. And they wouldn't admit that. But anytime you have that much money, you you know, you have like David Stern when he was the commissioner of the NBA, he's he said out loud, like, I would love if the Lakers and Celtics played every, every year. So if they're good enough that year to win, are they going to get a nudge? Absolutely. So I don't think it's scripted I think it's nudge.

[00:27:28] Cat: Okay. Here's my theory. I so my theory is kind of in the middle of scripted. I don't think the overall who wins is scripted because that there's so many moving parts there. But I do think this could be NFL. I'm thinking more NBA just because I am more of a basketball person. But like people who are powerful could be betting on something like how many assists a given player gets. And so that people could agree on like, okay, this person is going to do six assists in this game. We have to make sure they do it. And then that's going to get so and so money.

[00:28:02] Dwayne: The players is in on it.

[00:28:03] Cat: Yeah the players are.

[00:28:04] Dwayne: In on it. Okay.

[00:28:05] Cat: And or the coaches. So a couple people could be in on it for the bet, but it won't be. But it'll be like under the radar. So it wouldn't be the whole NFL. It would be specifically like, these players are going to get this many yards or get tackled X amount of times. Yeah.

[00:28:20] Koji: Like prop bets basically compromise. Yeah.

[00:28:22] Dwayne: But you know like one time I think the Sixers somebody I think this is basketball again they were playing I think it was the Sixers against a famous team maybe the Celtics or whatever. And they were like we gotta win by 15 to win by five because they knew they weren't going to get any of the calls. You know what I mean? So, you know, that kind of thing happens. The thing about football is you can call holding on every play.

[00:28:47] Koji: I mean, you can call foul on NBA.

[00:28:48] Dwayne: So many different things. Yeah. And so I don't know I don't even know which one is easier to break. I think they're both fairly easy to rig from a referee standpoint. But basketball may be a little easier to break. Although did they foul out the best player.

[00:29:02] Koji: Yeah. Didn't they do a study where the Chiefs were getting like extra calls, like there was like a thing where they looked at like how many calls they were getting and they were getting way more calls.

[00:29:10] Dwayne: And everybody learned that too, by winning.

[00:29:11] Koji: By winning. Okay.

[00:29:12] Dwayne: Then you get to. So I don't know.

[00:29:13] Koji: My public answer is no, it's not scripted. But my non public answer is yes it's scripted. And why can't they hire me as the writer? Right. One of the writers. I will walk away from the podcast. 

[00:29:27] Dwayne: Like this. Like, um. The seagulls. Um. Not seagulls. Excuse me. Um, Seattle. When they played the Pats and they were on the one yard line. And they didn't run it in.

[00:29:37] Koji: Yeah, no one believes it.

[00:29:38] Dwayne: You know what I mean?

[00:29:38] Chris: Like they made him. They made a mistake. They're dumb. They think they outthink the room.

[00:29:44] Dwayne: Also, they didn't want Marshawn Lynch to win MVP. I think so.

[00:29:50] Chris: Because they don't like Skittles and he's a big Skittles guy. So the Skittles he's just I think this is anti Skittles. 

[00:29:56] Cat: Is that a euphemism.

[00:29:57] Dwayne: He's not the guy.

[00:29:58] Chris: He only eats Skittles.

[00:30:00] Dwayne: But also isn't that the guy you want saying I'm going to Disneyland. You know, he just wasn't.

[00:30:04] Koji: They want Russell Wilson or something.

[00:30:06] Dwayne: Yeah, yeah.

[00:30:07] Koji: You know, like, everything I've learned as a writer, as a professor, I could use, uh, you know, like this. This person has a fatal flaw.

[00:30:14] Cat: I feel like if I was writing.

[00:30:16] Dwayne: Them, you want them to hire you.

[00:30:17] Koji: No, no, my public answer is. Of course not. Because I need to keep the league. You know, we need to make sure that the league is, uh, valid, and no one thinks. But secretly, I know it's scripted.

[00:30:27] Dwayne: It's not secretly if you say it out loud.

[00:30:29] Koji: Well, I'm just hoping nobody.

[00:30:30] Cat: Okay. But I need to pitch you. Why? I should be the actual writer.

[00:30:33] Chris: This is just for us. But did I come all the way to Pasadena and I go out on the airwaves?

[00:30:39] Cat: We just want to hang out. No. Here's how I would script the Super Bowl and all the football games every year. Somebody would fall in love, and it would either be like one of the players and a referee would run away together. Or be like one of the, like, really popular players. Like, somebody's wife would have an affair. It would be so many women watching.

[00:30:57] Chris: Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift is what.

[00:30:58] Cat: 100% I would Shonda Rhimes the shit out of the NFL. And that is why you should hire me.

[00:31:04] Chris: Nice. Well, my my theory is that all of this scripted stuff comes from people who hate sports and hate that people have a good time and they don't like that it takes all their. Whether it's a man or woman thing, but just the people in their lives all care about football, and they don't like football, and they don't want to understand it or learn anything about it. So they're trying to just it's, you know, it's trolling. They just want to make sure they want to take the legitimacy away so that people that like football will stop liking football. They they thought the football guys in high school were dickheads and they never. They call it sports ball. And they think it's super funny and they're comedians or whatever, and they're just trying to. That's my theory, is this is all trolling to ruin the NFL and none of it's real. It's just like it's just any of these.

[00:31:46] Cat: How do you know my mother?

[00:31:48] Dwayne: Let me ask you this, because this is this is interesting coming from you because you do have a favorite team, right? But you also watch a lot of games, like during the season. And I don't like that football's on all these other days too. It's like Saturday. Thursday? It's like Sunday and Monday. Like, cut the shit anyway. In a given week, how many regular season game? Like, like how many of the games do you catch?

[00:32:12] Chris: Well, I mean, it depends if if the Bengals are still like once the if the Bengals are out I'm not as adamant about it. But but I do watch. I mean I have two televisions in my house for football. You know, because I watch the Bengals on one and the other, the other team on the other, or we flip around on the other one. Um, but I'll watch Thursday if the game doesn't suck. I mean, if it's two teams that are terrible, I won't, but I watch Thursday if I'm around. Uh, I watch, you know, Sunday all day from I wake up at ten till it's over. And then Monday night, I mean.

[00:32:37] Dwayne: So you're watching three games on Sunday? Probably.

[00:32:39] Chris: I'm watching. I mean, how many games are on? I'm watching my Bengals game and flipping around the other ones. If there's if I have fantasy players or I care about some of the teams.

[00:32:46] Dwayne: When you watch teams that you don't care about, like, okay, it's not scripted in your opinion, but do you see certain players or certain teams getting more calls?

[00:32:56] Chris: I mean.

[00:32:57] Dwayne: Giving the benefit of the doubt.

[00:32:58] Chris: No, I think look, I think the refs are also human. I'm not saying there isn't every so often somebody nefarious and they're doing a weird thing. I'm not saying there aren't individual players who are doing prop bet things. There's probably some of that. I'm not. Whatever I'm saying from the very top. There's no way, because the whole reason people watch sports, the greatest thing about sports is that you argue all week about who's better, and then you get to see who's actually right where. Politics, it's all ethereal bullshit. It's you can oh, this is terrible. This is good. Is it really? We don't know. It's all it's all nuanced. It's like. Like there's very few things that are terrible, terrible or good. Good. It's all in the middle.

[00:33:34] Koji: Nazis,

[00:33:35] Chris: Sure, but like.

[00:33:36] Cat: Well, no, I'm kidding.

[00:33:38] Chris: What I'm saying is like. But even then, like, there's people that are on both sides. If I tell you the Bengals are better than the Steelers and then you beat the shit out of the Bengals, I lost the argument. I lost. And that's the only sports is the only thing that has that, where there's a definitive winner and a definitive loser and all the shit talk you did all week about how Saquon Barkley is the best. If he goes 34 yards, I'm like, see, Saquon sucks and you gotta go. Yeah he did suck that day. Like that's the thing that makes a sports amazing. And if you took that away I mean the leagues would never risk doing that because the minute that we don't it.

[00:34:09] Koji: Yeah the smell of it.

[00:34:10] Chris: The minute we don't think this is real then no one watches anymore because it.

[00:34:14] Dwayne: And that's the thing, by the way, I used to have a joke about that when I used to say, that's why women don't like sports, because the rules don't change during the game.

[00:34:24] Chris: My favorite sports joke. You had no Dwayne. My favorite sports joke. He goes, he goes. I think it's about football is they always interview the players and the playoffs are like, it's all it's about. Who wants to go home the least. It's about who wants to go home the least. He goes, I know that. True because I'm sure.

[00:34:35] Dwayne: He wants to go home. Who doesn't want to go home? Yeah, yeah. Who doesn't want to go home the most?

[00:34:39] Chris: Yeah. Who doesn't want to go the most? He goes. Who doesn't want to go home? He goes. But I'm pretty sure if the if the Oakland Raiders played a bunch of, uh, battered children. The battered children don't want to go home the most.

[00:34:51] Cat: So I'm gonna disagree with you on the on the idea that if it was scripted, everybody would leave based off of everything you just said. Because you you love sports. And I feel like a lot of the men who watch it, watch it because of the social connection.

[00:35:04] Koji: The moment it's.

[00:35:05] Chris: About being right

[00:35:06] Koji: But the moment it was fake. It's only about fake. People wouldn't stop spending money.

[00:35:09] Cat: I don't I don't think you would. I think you would continue to watch it because it's a special way you can connect to other men. And it's a shortcut right towards having a conversation and a bond. And because I've seen men who really like football, I've dated them. And the way they connect with other football fans, it's like magic.

[00:35:25] Dwayne: Well, in your favorite. 

[00:35:26] Cat: Glitter. 

[00:35:27] Dwayne: In favor of your argument, some people still watch wrestling. Yeah, but I think it's because wrestling has really, really amped up and ramped up the storylines. So like.

[00:35:38] Cat: You mean like how I would write an NFL game?

[00:35:40] Chris: The wrestling is like the the wrestling is like the Bachelor. The Bachelor is not real either, right? Neither is. But neither is like, uh, you know, uh, friends wasn't real. Like, we watch shows that aren't real all the time watching.

[00:35:50] Cat: Things that other people watch because they want to talk about it. It's a social thing.

[00:35:54] Dwayne: And this is why, like even though football has had some issues with like where they stand and you know, like whenever politics get into it, it gets a little crazy. But the product of football is still good, right? And people like collisions and they like violence and it's like a controlled violence. But in addition to that, it still seems like because it's violent, somehow the competitive, it's still a true competition. The NBA is struggling because it looks I think people don't believe that it's a true competition anymore. When SGA goes like this and gets and he's a great player, but.

[00:36:29] Koji: Yeah,

[00:36:29] Chris: Well but. 

[00:36:30] Dwayne: People feel like.

[00:36:31] Chris: No.

[00:36:32] Dwayne: It's. It's clear that some people get a lot of calls that others don't.

[00:36:35] Chris: No.

[00:36:35] Dwayne: That's the NBA.

[00:36:36] Chris: That's that's whiny Knick bullshit.

[00:36:38] Dwayne: Um, I watched a lot of games

[00:36:41] Cat: what I'm saying is the NBA right now is the most wide open it's ever been, like from 1980 to 2020.

[00:36:51] Koji: This is the same like five teams or something.

[00:36:53] Chris: Eight guys won the NBA title. Eight, eight guys. If you didn't have Kobe or you didn't have Jordan, or you didn't have magic or or or Shaq or or Bird like they they traded back and forth. It was every season you went to the NBA. There's only two teams could win now because of parity. Everybody can win.

[00:37:09] Koji: Yeah. 

[00:37:09] Chris: Right.

[00:37:09] Dwayne: I know but. 

[00:37:10] Chris: And so now there's not dynasties anymore but. 

[00:37:14] Koji: Yeah. But as a so I'm a Lakers fan huge fan and I'm a season ticket holder. And this has been the hardest season to watch because you're just watching it. You're just like there's so many I mean there's like 40 or 50 fouls in a game. Now I don't think it's scripted, but you're just like, because something's changed, though.

[00:37:30] Dwayne: Because the players are so good that they are manipulating the refs, right? Like they are going like they're like whipping their head back when no one touched them. All these kind of things. And the league hasn't cleaned it up.

[00:37:45] Chris: Here's here's the rod. Make for that. You ready for this? Here's my rule. Every referee gets one challenge. So somebody goes whoa. And LeBron's crying. He goes oh challenge that. And if it was not a foul and that guy flopped or was bullshitting throw him out of the game. They get one a game.

[00:37:59] Cat: Oh I like that.

[00:38:01] Chris: Bullshit. We're kicking you out. You fucking. You did that soccer thing where you fell down. You hold your leg. We look and if you're not hurt, we throw you out.

[00:38:07] Dwayne: They'll give you a yellow card in soccer.

[00:38:09] Koji: I mean, that's why I like the, um, in spring training. In baseball, they have the, uh, the balls and strikes rule now, which I think is really fun because it first of all, it's fast. It takes like three seconds. But the other thing is it's only the pitcher, catcher and hitter. So it's like the manager's never looking at it. Right. And so a lot of times what's fun about it is that it's emotional. The pitcher's like, that's a fucking strike because everything's a strike or hitters everything a ball, right. And so right away they're calling and then like then they're penalized. They lose the, the ability to challenge another one. And I love like so that like that makes it fun because then there's a little bit of accountability. But the whole thing like like the idea of like making a catcher all like the calls all AI is doesn't sound fun because then you're taking the human element away. But like the able to challenge, major moments and being able to, you know, like, I think that's fun.

[00:38:53] Dwayne: But that's the only way you can control baseball is the strike zone. Because the pitchers are so good. The hitters are so good, like some of the hitters. So if if you give a pitcher like one inch off the plate and if that's a strike, he might be unhittable.

[00:39:08] Koji: I saw this interview with Frank Thomas and Greg Maddux. Frank Thomas said, you know, I hit like I have a laptop size area where I hit the ball. Anything outside of that laptop I'm not hitting, I don't care where, I don't care. Ball strike, it doesn't matter. And then Greg Maddux was there. He said, okay, my goal is I know you're I know that laptop. I'm gonna go a centimeter off that laptop? And make you swing at something that you don't want to swing, and you're not gonna get it. 

[00:39:29] Dwayne: Yeah, but the thing about basketball is that, like, I've watched it my whole life, right? And so I know, like, in the playoffs, for instance, you know, they want a extra game. You know, a key player is going to get three fouls in the first half, you know, so they've always manipulated it a little bit. But now with the gather step, the two step, it's like what's a walk? And I understand the rule perfectly. And again we were talking about bots before we started in AI and stuff. No matter how many steps a guy takes, you get two, right? There's always someone in the comments that's like, you guys don't understand. That's a gather that's clean. It's like if you watch basketball from the 50s, you think they're not skilled, but it's because they didn't let them get away with anything. They're dribbling like this. Like it looks kind of stupid because if their hand got.

[00:40:21] Chris: They're also mostly white in the 50s. That might have been part of it.

[00:40:24] Dwayne: No, but. Bob Cousy was phenomenal. He was like Pistol Pete before Pistol Pete, but if his hand went on the side of the ball at all, that's a carry. Like so many things that that, you know, you can't compare because there was a pure game. And then they they let him get away with more and more to make it more, you know, entertainment value. But they've kind of like crossed the line where, like, people don't want to see a guy looking like he's taking five steps.

[00:40:51] Chris: As long as it's police. The same, that's all. That's the thing. Like, so like when they sometimes they have a tight strike zone. Sometimes the guy, this umpire has a wide strike zone. Everybody knows that as long as he's calling it both directions, I don't really care. I was in my one of my. I think you'll appreciate this from baseball. My best friend's name is Ashley and we were watching baseball. And she goes, I don't like baseball. And I go, why? She goes, I feel like the pitcher is trying to throw it bad on purpose.

[00:41:13] Dwayne: Yeah.

[00:41:14] Chris: I'm like, why? She goes, I mean, so he throws it bad. I miss it three times and I'm an asshole because I couldn't hit it. You threw it bad. And I'm like, that's the most just innocent way of like, yeah, they're on different teams. He's not trying. The pitcher's not. It was just mind boggling.

[00:41:29] Cat: So it's time for us to pick the unofficial official story, one that will answer this question once and for all. So who wins? Which one do you want to go with?

[00:41:38] Koji: So I spent so much money and time and effort and thought. Thinking about sports, it would break me if it was fake. So I'm gonna. I'm gonna go with yours.

[00:41:46] Chris: I appreciate that, and to your point, I will say that like, there are times where, like, this receiver needs 35 yards to get his half $1 million bonus, and they make sure he gets his 35 yards. Right. And then the minute he gets his 35 yards in the last game of the season, he goes out of the game like there's all kinds of stuff where that happens. So there are times where the team is saying, okay, this statistical thing has to happen for our guy to. 

[00:42:08] Cat: Or opposite. Like it could be like, okay, we want to be able to buy this player back on our team at a lower rate. So he needs we are going to have the ref call him this many times that he can't play. This is me as a non watcher.

[00:42:20] Koji: That would be harder to accomplish. But like have you heard about the Pirates? The Pittsburgh Pirates? They there are like all these players that were really close to like being able to get bonuses and like like for example, one was this guy needed ten more at bats with like three games left and they benched him, and they sent him to the minors because they didn't want to give him the bonus. That's I mean, that's not corruption.

[00:42:43] Cat: That's right there.

[00:42:44] Koji: Bastard. Yeah, Pittsburgh Pirates, but it's pretty funny. But anyway, so.

[00:42:47] Cat: You could manipulate like how much money you have on the salary cap of your team. Again, NBA thoughts? Uh, you know, in the next year by the salary.

[00:42:56] Koji: You know, the the salaries already all.

[00:42:58] Cat: Unless someone is like contract.

[00:42:59] Chris: Bonuses or the.

[00:43:00] Cat: End of the contract.

[00:43:01] Chris: I what I'll say is I don't think it goes ever beyond two people. So to make it a conspiracy theory, it has to be more than two people. I'm not saying one ref doesn't have a bookie that's on his, you know, whatever. And there's not one team that's like, hey, let's screw our player or whatever, or let's get our guys bonus or whatever. And there's a few, but it's not like the league is like, hey, we want them to get seven tackles. So this prop bet goes off. So referee you make sure there's.

[00:43:24] Cat: Yeah that's unlikely I think like small small things or maybe like within a team. 

[00:43:28] Dwayne: I think I understand what you're saying. But I think you underestimate the ability to program someone with ever without ever telling them explicitly what to do.

[00:43:36] Koji: When you say program, what do you mean?

[00:43:38] Dwayne: Well, like.

[00:43:38] Cat: Is this like MKUltra?

[00:43:39] No, no. Not in that way. When you go to the airport. Right. They tell you it's random searches.

[00:43:44] Koji: Yeah. It's not.

[00:43:44] Dwayne: Every now and then you do a random search. And I've been I've traveled a lot. And every time I see someone with like a, you know, uh, what do you call it, a BB or whatever, turban. They always get an extra, like, 90% of the time. They get randomly searched. I don't think there's anything written that says you have to do this. I don't think anyone ever said to another person, make sure you randomly search that person. But if you stand there with them on training day and you keep saying, oh, just random, oh, that guy randomly searching randomly and then eventually you know who you have to randomly search. No one ever said it. It's not written down anywhere, but it can't be random. If everyone I've seen who looks a certain way gets the extra, extra search.

[00:44:30] Cat: Oh wait, but who who gets the extra Call in the NFL. Like, what are you saying?

[00:44:36] Dwayne: What I'm saying is that.

[00:44:37] Chris: Like, if Tom, if Tom Brady missed a pass, he must have gotten roughed, is what you're saying. Because he's so good that.

[00:44:42] Koji: That like NBA.

[00:44:43] Chris: Or Jordan missed a shot, he must have gotten fouled.

[00:44:45] Dwayne: Right. Nba for instance.

[00:44:47] Koji: They want the Lakers there.

[00:44:48] Dwayne: So NFL I don't know as much about but I know NBA like especially during the playoffs. They have a meeting with the refs before the games. And they tell them what to look for, what to look for. Their referees look for the game.

[00:45:02] Cat: Yeah.

[00:45:03] Dwayne: But they say, oh you know what. Watch the carry. Because they know that guy kind of carries and it's gonna help. So they don't say call fouls on this guy.

[00:45:13] Cat: So they speak it in code.

[00:45:14] Dwayne: This thing that they know might favor this team without ever saying a name or anything like that.

[00:45:21] Chris: Or if they watch this guy carry so much, they're like, okay, we're getting a lot of heat on our Facebook comments and going, look at this. There's too many people going, that's a double dribble that they they all right. Watch the double dribbling because, you know.

[00:45:32] Dwayne: It could be that. But it's game by game too.

[00:45:35] Koji: Can we can we make the Lakers win more? I mean, I just.

[00:45:38] Cat: I would like that.

[00:45:39] Dwayne: Well, the thing is that they want the Lakers to win. They gave you Luka.

[00:45:42] Koji: Yeah. That's going to be one of the future ones which is well we still we still have to bet. We still have to. We have to.

[00:45:47] Dwayne: So you picked.

[00:45:49] Chris: I'm siding with cat.

[00:45:50] Koji: Oh what.

[00:45:51] Chris: That certain things could be scripted.

[00:45:53] Cat: Small things.

[00:45:54] Chris: Small things. I don't think script is not the right word, but I think that there are small things that people could work towards to, to influence.

[00:45:59] Dwayne: I like mine if there's a wish list, but for sake of, uh, making this thing. So there's a winner. Well, you didn't vote yet?

[00:46:05] Koji: No, I voted.

[00:46:06] Dwayne: You voted him. He voted. Okay, I'll vote for cat.

[00:46:08] Cat: Yay! Two episodes in a row, I won. Yay!

[00:46:12] Koji: All right. Wow.

[00:46:14] Cat: I can't believe I won this. I guys.

[00:46:15] Chris: I didn't know I was allowed to vote for myself.

[00:46:17] Dwayne: But I do sports. But I do think this too. I do think that the NBA is way more rigged than NFL. I just think it's more compromised. Also, the referees all come like half the referees all came from the same place in Pennsylvania, and they all knew each other.

[00:46:31] Cat: Oh. That's weird.

[00:46:32] Dwayne: That's right. For, like, corruption.

[00:46:34] Cat: So it's like the Amish have a mafia over the NBA.

[00:46:37] Chris: For like, all the 80s, all the referees in the NBA went to the same high school. It was like a it was like a whole factory of people. But it was just kind of like. But that's like anything. I mean, the people get jobs, right?

[00:46:48] Dwayne: And I'm not saying

[00:46:48] Chris: Their buddy got a job. I mean, that's why, you know.

[00:46:50] Dwayne: Yeah, that's just plain nepotism. But it it's just fertile ground for nonsense to happen as well. You know what I mean? Which did happen.

[00:46:59] Chris: But it's also like if you're a regular person, you live in Richmond, Indiana. You're like, I want to be an NBA official. How do I do that? You don't know how to do that. It's like stand up. Like, how do you when you're a little kid, like, how do you do that? Right. But if you go to a high school where 30 of the alumni are NBA officials, you go, hey, Bob, how'd you get that job? He goes, well, I did this, I did that, and then you go do it. So that's kind of okay.

[00:47:17] Cat: Well, you guys, my story is the official story. We'll take another break and then we'll look at some other sports related conspiracies.

[00:47:28] Koji: Which of these sports related conspiracies can you guys get behind? All right. One of the wildest rumors in pro sports is that former Cleveland Cavaliers Delonte West was having an affair with LeBron James's mother.

[00:47:37] Cat: Yep.

[00:47:37] Dwayne: Wow.

[00:47:38] Koji: The story first popped up on a chain email chain.

[00:47:41] Cat: Well, that must be true.

[00:47:42] Koji: Right after the Cavs were bounced from the 2010 playoffs. And like most chain emails, nobody could trace its origin. But that didn't stop it from spreading. Within a week, it was national news. Some say it wrecked the team and ended West's career, while LeBron eventually left Cleveland, only to return years later. So do you guys believe it?

[00:47:59] Chris: That for sure happened.

[00:48:01] Koji: Yeah, I.

[00:48:01] Chris: There's no question.

[00:48:02] Koji: I think it happened. Yeah.

[00:48:03] Chris: For sure.

[00:48:04] Dwayne: You have some insight.

[00:48:05] Chris: No, not really, but I can just tell. I just, you know.

[00:48:08] Cat: I wasn't there. So explain.

[00:48:09] Dwayne: I don't like what happened. Well LeBron kind of like, didn't perform well in that playoffs. And then later it came out that it was maybe because a team member was fucking his mom.

[00:48:18] Chris: Yeah.

[00:48:18] Cat: But like, how do we know that that's true.

[00:48:20] Koji: But also I mean, we should also mention that Lebron is LeBron's mom is not like an like she's relatively young.

[00:48:26] Dwayne: A young mom. But also, how selfish are you? Your mom's getting taken down. She's happy. Go win the championship, right?

[00:48:32] Koji: But if it was your teammate, though. That's a lot. And also.

[00:48:37] Chris: I want my Mom to be happy.

[00:48:37] Dwayne: Celebrate. Celebrate it.

[00:48:39] Chris: Yeah. I mean, like, because the mom's. Yeah. Lebron's mom's. Not that she's a young mom. And I think Delonte West was old. She was probably the same age as him because Delonte West was like the old man on the team.

[00:48:48] Koji: Was he? I thought he was young at that time.

[00:48:50] Dwayne: No, but also he went kind of crazy.

[00:48:52] Koji: He became homeless.

[00:48:52] Dwayne: Did they do something to him?

[00:48:54] Koji: Yeah. Now he's like a homeless person. Or he's an unhoused person. Excuse me? Oh, yeah. He has a lot of mental issues.

[00:49:00] Dwayne: He has mental issues. And it's. Yeah, that's kind of sad.

[00:49:03] Koji: Okay, so are you. You said yes, I said yes. Yeah, I think for sure you said yes.

[00:49:06] Dwayne: I just think, yeah, it's like where there's smoke, there's fire kind of thing. And you hear all of the NBA stories, like Steve Nash was married to a chick. And then the baby came out and it was clearly not mixed. Yeah, he was married to a black girl.

[00:49:20] Koji: Derek Fisher and, uh, Matt Barnes have a whole thing. Yeah.

[00:49:24] Cat: Wait. Is that. Are we shipping them?

[00:49:26] Dwayne: Tony Parker slept with his teammate's wife. I just think it goes. It's it's it's the NBA. It's.

[00:49:32] Chris: There were two Yankee pitchers in the 70s that swapped wives. They were best friends. Hung out all the time. And I think I love your wife. I think I love your wife. Let's just trade. And they just went and had they had a double wedding, they got divorced and had a double wedding together.

[00:49:42] Cat: That's actually really cute.

[00:49:43] Chris: That's sweet. They were still best friends.

[00:49:45] Dwayne: Good storyline.

[00:49:46] Cat: That's right. See? Was I writing that year? I think.

[00:49:49] Dwayne: I feel like that describes, like, Fleetwood Mac or maybe, um, uh, what's his name? The Beatle who died, George Harrison and, um, Eric Clapton.

[00:50:00] Chris: Oh, yeah.

[00:50:00] Dwayne: Yeah, they had a little switchy thing going, but go ahead.

[00:50:02] Koji: I mean, it's such a weird. It's such a weird thing to do, though. I mean.

[00:50:05] Chris: My my best friend married my ex-wife, and I was the best man in their wedding.

[00:50:08] Cat: Oh. That's cute.

[00:50:09] Chris: Yeah. So, you know, two, two of my favorite people gonna be happy. I'm always gonna be happy.

[00:50:13] Cat: Yeah. A friend of mine pointed out that, like.

[00:50:14] Dwayne: He was, he wasn't lying when he said he would have been happy for his mom.

[00:50:17] Cat: There you go. Yeah, well, it's like when. When you like you and your best friend like each other, so then you end up dating people who are alike, like birds of a feather, right? So it makes sense that everybody would kind of get along right? A little bit.

[00:50:29] Koji: Okay. On September 20th, 1973, more than 50 million Americans tuned in to watch what became known as the battle of the sexes. It wasn't Wimbledon or the US open. It was Billie Jean King. 29 years old, at the height of her powers, facing off against 55 year old former tennis champ Bobby Riggs. Riggs had already beaten Margaret Court earlier that year, and bragged that this match would prove men were better than women at any age, but King crushed him in straight sets. And Riggs looked like he barely tried. Years later, an ESPN investigation claimed Riggs threw the match on purpose to pay off gambling debts to the mob. Riggs denied it. But was this all part of his plan? Do you believe it or not?

[00:51:08] Dwayne: You know, I would need to know more of the details in terms of.

[00:51:10] Koji: You don't remember. I mean.

[00:51:11] Chris: I remember watching.

[00:51:12] Dwayne: No, I know.

[00:51:13] Cat: I watched the movie about it on a plane.

[00:51:14] Chris: I mean, I remember seeing seeing it happen.

[00:51:17] Dwayne: But what I mean is, I need to know, like, exactly his age. Her age because.

[00:51:20] Koji: She was he was 55. She was 29.

[00:51:22] Dwayne: He might just be saying that to save face, a 29 year old elite female athlete.

[00:51:27] Chris: Especially if you look at the rackets they had. I think now the rackets are so powerful and like men hit it so much harder. But back in the 70s, like they hit it. I mean, it was those little wooden rackets. It wasn't like they were serving 107 miles an hour like they are now. Right? Those guys, Jimmy Connors, all those guys were. So I think a 55 year old man could lose to a 30 year old woman.

[00:51:45] Koji: I mean, it's kind of like, do you guys, do you guys. 

[00:51:46] Cat: Are using the same rackets, though? How would it change the advantage?

[00:51:49] Chris: Because it's not. The men's tennis game is now much more about power than it is about shots. And so if you just hit it so hard that you overpower them, it's just about power. Like she's not gonna smash it past him because she's not hitting it as hard and he's serving it 106 miles an hour. She may not be able to get to that. She served at 80 miles an hour.

[00:52:09] Cat: So. So before it was less about power and more about like strategy.

[00:52:13] Dwayne: Yeah, yeah. The rackets didn't transfer the power as well.

[00:52:16] Chris: Yeah.

[00:52:17] Cat: And as we know, like women are smarter and just. Men are stronger.

[00:52:20] Koji: And they also have vagina. I'm just letting you know

[00:52:23] Cat: those. Those have our brains.

[00:52:24] Koji: So yeah. Like actually.

[00:52:26] Chris: So you're saying all women have vaginas? That's what you're saying on this podcast. Oh my God.

[00:52:30] Cat: What?

[00:52:31] Chris: Wow.

[00:52:31] Cat: Controversial. 

[00:52:33] Chris: In Pasadena, California.

[00:52:34] Cat: Canceled.

[00:52:35] Koji: Canceled.

[00:52:36] Dwayne: Hey, Koji. Here's my phone. Please drop it.

[00:52:41] Koji: Okay, so, uh, do you guys ever see the, uh, there's a famous moment in baseball where Barry Bonds was supposed to face, like, the best softball pitcher. Uh, I forget her name, but she was like this, like, amazing pitcher.

[00:52:52] Dwayne: And a softball that's thrown, right?

[00:52:53] Koji: Yeah. And she was just like, he wouldn't do it because he was like. And like. Like, you know, I was like, dude, you're such a I don't want to use the word, but, you know, like, why wouldn't you face her if he struck out? No one's gonna say you suck. I mean, you're one of the greatest hitter. I mean, I don't like his steroids or whatever, but he was, like, like one of the greatest hitters in history of baseball, and he couldn't handle it. So when I think about that, and I compare it to what, uh, what, uh, what happened to, um, Riggs here? I think that, like, he would rather say. Like, he would rather have it out there, that that, like, he either gave up through it intentionally or that the mob than to, like, admit that he lost to a woman.

[00:53:27] Cat: But I agree with you.

[00:53:28] Chris: He denied it. That's that's ESPN was saying.

[00:53:30] Koji: No, no, but I think that, like, he'd rather have it out there. Like he he would say.

[00:53:34] Cat: Yeah, like like a doubt a reasonable doubt.

[00:53:36] Dwayne: A story out there and then.

[00:53:37] Koji: Yeah. And then of course you would deny it, but then like it's out there. Oh I didn't, I didn't really try. I didn't really.

[00:53:42] Dwayne: When Steph Curry shot against uh, Sabrina. Uh yeah. Like he, he won. But she would have beat, you know, a three point contest during the all star break. Uh, two years ago. She would have beat the other guys in the contest, though, if she was in it, or she would have tied with it. So. So there's some parody and some things, you know.

[00:54:02] Chris: Did you see, uh, Chad Johnson Ochocinco one time he raced a horse.

[00:54:06] Dwayne: Did he?

[00:54:06] Chris: Because he was so fast, but he made the horse. He ran a hundred yards and the horse ran 200 yards. And they said, why did you make the horse run twice, twice as far. And he goes, that dude got twice as many legs.

[00:54:19] Koji: All right. This is my. This is the one that is close to my heart because of my Laker fandom. There's a wild theory floating around about the Luka Doncic trade. Some say the team didn't make the move for basketball reasons at all, but because they secretly wanted to relocate from Dallas to Las Vegas, could this blockbuster deal really be part of a bigger plan to move the franchise? Do you guys believe it or not?

[00:54:38] Dwayne: Maybe. But I think the NBA makes the call to like the NBA needed, because here's the thing you gotta provide the full context. Not only did they trade maybe the best one of the top five players in the league, maybe top three players in the league for like a guy who's also great but always hurt and older. But they also then the same year get the number one pick in the draft, which that's like, come on guys.

[00:55:04] Chris: I can see the NBA. Well I will I do think that the NBA will decide what player should go to what market in the in the lottery. I'm not a guy like giving Patrick Ewing to the Knicks and like there's there's points where they can I would wouldn't put it past if they said all right trade Luka the Lakers. That gives the Lakers ten more years of whatever once LeBron's gone and we'll that way you will be down for a couple years. So you can move to to uh Las Vegas. And then we're going to give you Cooper flag number one guy. And the thing. I could see that now you know the GM that made that trade got booed and, uh, threatened death threats to his house. And then he got fired. So I'm not sure he's going to do that.

[00:55:45] Dwayne: Well, the thing is, is that. Yeah, it's silly to to to think that he's not the owner of the team. And it's weird to to give some people like, a person to blame and they accept that, like you think it wasn't above Nico Harris the general like, sure, he got fired, but he just woke up one day and said, oh, I'm going to trade the best player. And the owner of the team was like, sure, do that. Why not? Like, you can't do things without the owner. You can't do things without the league signing off on it. You know, like the league has, has banned some trades or reversed them because they didn't make sense.

[00:56:16] Koji: It was only one time. And that was because the.

[00:56:18] Dwayne: Lakers.

[00:56:18] Koji: The that's because they were in charge the Pelicans. But it's kind of like I mean but to your point, it's similar to the, uh, Shohei gambling. And because so many people always tell me what if he, you know, like his assistant or whatever took the fall for him. And I'm like, I don't care how much you're paying the assistant, he's not going to go to jail for ten years for.

[00:56:37] Dwayne: I mean, it depends on how much you're paying.

[00:56:38] Koji: I don't think ten years in jail.

[00:56:39] Cat: No, nobody would do that.

[00:56:41] Koji: Nobody. I mean, that's a lot. And. 

[00:56:43] Chris: What's your price?

[00:56:43] Dwayne: The guy went to jail for Barry Bonds with the steroids.

[00:56:46] Koji: No, but like.

[00:56:46] Chris: Jail for Pete Rose, for sure.

[00:56:48] Koji: Yeah, like like because, I mean.

[00:56:51] Chris: Ten years in jail, $1 billion.

[00:56:53] Cat: No price.

[00:56:53] Chris: Not for $1 billion.

[00:56:54] Koji: No.

[00:56:55] Dwayne: But also, what if they threaten your family?

[00:56:57] Chris: I'd do well in jail.

[00:56:58] Koji: You would do well in jail,

[00:56:59] Chris: Dude. I'd have. Yeah, we'd have stand up shows and I'd organize fucking basketball tournaments. I would, I would be fucking great in jail. Dude.

[00:57:07] Koji: I'm too pretty. Though

[00:57:09] Chris: huh?

[00:57:09] Koji: I'm too pretty.

[00:57:10] Chris: Yeah. No one wants to fuck me, so that'd be great. I don't get hit on a gay bar, so I'm everybody's friend. I would be friends.

[00:57:15] Koji: Wait, can I go to a women's jail?

[00:57:17] Chris: Awesome. No.

[00:57:17] Cat: Okay, I think here's why I wouldn't. Is because a woman is always, like, maybe a few dates away from maybe marrying a billionaire. Like you just never know. Wait, I'll just roll the dice on my beauty. Like working out. It's like a lottery ticket.

[00:57:31] Chris: That's cool.

[00:57:32] Cat: I just have to go.

[00:57:32] Chris: How ugly of a billionaire would you marry.

[00:57:34] Cat: Parties.

[00:57:34] Chris: Or marry a great like. So. Not $1 billion. Would you. Would you marry a 4. 

[00:57:38] Dwayne: A millionaire?

[00:57:39] Cat: A millionaire, a 4 I, you know, it just depends on his flaws. Exactly what the flaws are. I could go for like. Okay, look.

[00:57:48] Chris: He has everything you hate. He's ugly. He's a piece of shit. He's mean.

[00:57:52] Cat: There's no chance. But I would go, like, if he was missing, like, a couple of legs or.

[00:57:57] Koji: Wait, how many legs?

[00:57:58] Cat: Like.

[00:58:00] Chris: You mean all of his legs? A couple. Are you dating spiders?

[00:58:07] Cat: I would for sure date an amputee. I like I would date a blind guy. I mean, like.

[00:58:15] Dwayne: Ah, that's funny.

[00:58:15] Cat: There's definitely some things where I would be like, okay, this is definitely like an aberration, but like, I'd go for it. Yeah. Why not?

[00:58:22] Chris: How about no dick?

[00:58:24] Cat: Um, can I cheat?

[00:58:27] Chris: Probably,

[00:58:28] Cat: Yeah. Okay, fine. Open relationship.

[00:58:31] Chris: You can always cheat.

[00:58:32] Cat: Yeah. I mean, ideally I would. Well, like, in theory, if he had a I wouldn't do it. If he didn't have one, we would need to have an agreement. But. Yeah.

[00:58:41] Chris: Okay.

[00:58:41] Cat: Sure.

[00:58:42] Dwayne: Well, he could wear something, you know.

[00:58:44] Cat: I mean, I guess, but that's lame.

[00:58:46] Dwayne: Yeah, yeah.

[00:58:46] Koji: What if he's a Nazi.

[00:58:47] Cat: Okay, that that's a problem. That's a problem we can't get past, because those are.

[00:58:52] Koji: What if he's one of the good ones that, like, did the highways through Germany or something.

[00:58:57] Dwayne: Did Shohei's guy go to jail?

[00:58:59] Koji: Yeah, he's going to jail. Yeah.

[00:59:00] Cat: Wait. Okay. I would date a Nazi if I could also poison him. Is that, like, can I.

[00:59:04] Chris: Mhm.

[00:59:05] Cat: Can I be a black widow?

[00:59:06] Chris: What if you could change it from the inside.

[00:59:09] Cat: Oh, like a project.

[00:59:11] Koji: You could save him.

[00:59:12] Cat: Okay. I you know. 

[00:59:14] Chris: Now but who knows you know.

[00:59:16] Cat: You know, I feel like a younger me would have done that.

[00:59:21] Chris: Nazi. One leg. What? Billionaire.

[00:59:23] Cat: I would go for one leg person.

[00:59:25] Chris: There you go.

[00:59:25] Cat: Oh, like if you had to make me choose between a Nazi and a one legged, I would definitely choose one legged person.

[00:59:30] Koji: Three legs.

[00:59:31] Chris: That's what she's into.

[00:59:34] Cat: You said it, not me.

[00:59:36] Chris: That's what she meant couple of legs.

[00:59:38] Dwayne: Why does Japan, like someone just said. Hey, man, this is how it's got to go. This is going to be because, you know, it could be a stain on the whole country.

[00:59:45] Koji: Well, but that guy's also a liar. Because, for example, like his, uh, application to, uh, the when he was, like, an interpreter for Boston Red Sox, he said that he went to UC Riverside and, like, he never went to UC Riverside. And it's brilliant because, like, that's a perfect place to, like, pretend.

[00:59:59] Chris: No one going to lie.

[01:00:01] Koji: But it's also like. But But not only. But not only that, it's also like not a place where, like, you could go and like, you could go to the same year and not know him. Right. Where it's like if you went to like a small, like liberal arts school, everyone knows everyone in that class. So you'd be like, wait, he wasn't at Harvard in 48 or, you know, whatever. But like at a Riverside, there's like 5000 students, and it's not like a place you would check, but like, that's why, like, there's so many lies that he did that, like, it's just like BS.

[01:00:26] Dwayne: Yeah, but but the the the, the the Luka thing is like, come on.

[01:00:29] Koji: So what do you think on the Luka  thing?

[01:00:31] Chris: It wouldn't surprise me if there was some quid pro quo little winky face to get Luka to the Lakers. But also Nico. Nico Harrison would just be stupid. Also, there's a chance that the new owners wanted to stick it to Mark Cuban and kind of get him out of the building and be like, because, you know, it's like when any time somebody takes over, anytime somebody takes over a thing, they want it to be their own thing.

[01:00:49] Cat: Oh that's big.

[01:00:50] Chris: I speak in high schools a lot. And so like, I'll go to high school, do their freshman rotation like ten years in a row and they get a new principal and they're like, oh, this is great. This is great. Like, I want to do my own thing and it's not against me. It's just because they want to put their. 

[01:01:02] Cat: Question. Did the new guy who wanted to, like, reset after Cuban was he? Was he a Maga? Was he conservative?

[01:01:08] Koji: I think he.

[01:01:09] Cat: Did we know.

[01:01:10] Chris: He was a billionaire? So probably.

[01:01:12] Koji: Yeah,

[01:01:12] Cat: Because I know that like Cuban is very he's he's more on the left. So I could see if somebody was politically opposite they'd be like f everything.

[01:01:19] Chris: You want to install their own regime, they want to like like they want to be, well, like he didn't want to win as the owner and then them go, well it was Cuban's team. So of course he won because Cuban's a genius. You're an idiot. He wants to go. No, no, I got rid of Cuban's guys and brought in my own guys because I'm the genius. Because there's a point.

[01:01:34] Cat: And then everybody was like, and you did the worst trade.

[01:01:37] Chris: That's why the Bengals suck. The Bengals suck because Mike Brown, his dad Paul Brown, was a genius. He was so good. They gave him an NFL franchise. He won all these titles with Cleveland, the Browns. And then he got his own team, the Bengals. And his son is an idiot, but his son wants to prove his own way. So he's the GM of the team. Like he makes all the player decisions because his dad did and his dad was a genius, but he's a moron, so that's why we're bad.

[01:02:00] Dwayne: It's kind of like when the Bulls were winning the, uh, the Jerrys.

[01:02:05] Koji: And they're like, we don't need Michael Jordan.

[01:02:06] Dwayne: Even with Steph, there's some things where some rumblings that the owners want to take credit and even even like Cuban's get Cuban's guys out of the building. But also Luka, like Luka, is like, going to be more beloved than you. You know, it's weird that you would compete with a guy playing and you don't play. But yeah, I mean, egos get involved. Yeah, it's.

[01:02:25] Koji: Like I will say. So before we got Luka, it was depressing at crypto because it's like we're just like, well, we have this old guy LeBron. We have this guy that we.

[01:02:35] Chris: Crypto has got to be sad.

[01:02:36] Koji: At this point. And then we had A.D. who's like, we're gonna have to max out and spend like billions of dollars on this guy that we there was no future for us. And then the moment we got.

[01:02:43] Dwayne: The Warriors might get him.

[01:02:45] Koji: And then the moment we got Luka, it was like, oh, shit. Like our whole future was open. So I'm thankful every day. I'm thankful for.

[01:02:51] Dwayne: I know, I know, this maybe episode's going along. Klay. Thomas.

[01:02:55] Koji: Thompson.

[01:02:55] Dwayne: Thompson. Excuse me. Klay Thompson went to Dallas.

[01:02:58] Koji: For Luka.

[01:02:59] Dwayne: Right? Yeah, but his dad wanted him to go to the Lakers.

[01:03:02] Koji: Because he's a Laker announcer.

[01:03:03] Dwayne: Right. And his dad played for the Lakers.

[01:03:05] Koji: He was the number one pick.

[01:03:06] Dwayne: Yeah. And it's kind of like shit. If he would have went to the Lakers, you still would have got to play with Luka unless they traded him. And and like that team with a shooter who doesn't have to do anything but shoot, you know, play a little defense.

[01:03:18] Chris: I think I think LeBron's going to the Golden State Warriors at the trade deadline this year.

[01:03:22] Koji: That'd be great Jimmy Butler let's do it.

[01:03:23] Dwayne: No it would hurt his I don't think he would because.

[01:03:26] Chris: He shouldn't play with Steph like. 

[01:03:27] Dwayne: His legacy.

[01:03:28] Koji: No he wants to play with Steph 100%.

[01:03:30] Dwayne: I know they would win too even though they're old.

[01:03:32] Koji: No they wouldn't win. Sorry.

[01:03:33] Dwayne: If they had a young guy they'd win just like.

[01:03:35] Koji: I mean I think Jimmy Butler is perfect for the Lakers actually. He's exactly the kind of.

[01:03:38] Chris: Jimmy Butler they're going to give him away. They're going to get him out of the building Jimmy Butler's gonna play with Steph and LeBron.

[01:03:43] Koji: No no no the the way he couldn't because uh because the salary caps is like the only guy that really could go for like like close because Lakers can't take multiple players back. They can only.

[01:03:53] Dwayne: Be like basically saying we're gonna try to win. And no more two timeline things and everyone hates that. But it's like. 

[01:03:59] Koji: Cat is frustrated with this conversation.

[01:04:01] Cat: No no no no no. I was just saying, what's that movie where it's like all the old action actors get together.

[01:04:06] Dwayne: Expendables.

[01:04:07] Koji: Expendables.

[01:04:08] Cat: The Expendables. That's what that's giving LeBron Steph Curry.

[01:04:11] Koji: That's actually pretty funny. All right go ahead.

[01:04:13] Dwayne: Thank you Chris. Tell us where people can follow you.

[01:04:16] Chris: Uh, just at Bauer's comedy on, um, Instagram and all that stuff. I'm on tour with Jeff Dye. So Jeff Dye.com, uh, we're basically in a city every weekend the rest of the year. So, uh, come check us out.

[01:04:26] Koji: What's your next city you're going to be in?

[01:04:27] Chris: Oh, let's see, we're in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada this week, and then Richmond, Indiana, Indianapolis, Indiana, my hometown is, uh, next week. And then after that, we're we're in Tampa and we're all over Florida.

[01:04:40] Koji: Wow.

[01:04:41] Cat: Very nice I love Edmonton. Hi, Canada. Anyways.

[01:04:46] Koji: We're gonna take over Canada, by the way. I'm super excited about Canada, Cuba being all American states soon.

[01:04:51] Dwayne: Right.

[01:04:51] Koji: Let's go.

[01:04:52] Cat: Well, to all our listeners, we truly appreciate your support and enthusiasm for our quirky, mysterious, and fun filled journey. Your curiosity and engagement make this podcast a joy to create. Stay tuned for more intriguing stories and remember to share, subscribe and leave a review. Until next time, keep wondering and stay unofficially official.

[01:05:13] Koji: In the next episode, we'll be asking the question were the Kennedys responsible for Marilyn Monroe's death?

[01:05:19] Cat: Yes,

[01:05:19] Koji: Yes, I think so too.

[01:05:20] Chris: You wanna. You wanna hear my Kennedy conspiracy theory?

[01:05:23] Koji: Yeah.

[01:05:23] Cat: Do it.

[01:05:23] Chris: John. John F Kennedy was killed by Aristotle Onassis.

[01:05:27] Koji: Why?

[01:05:28] Chris: Because.

[01:05:29] Cat: Is that the father in law?

[01:05:30] Chris: He married Jackie O. He married Jackie. And. And Jackie had a miscarriage a year before JFK was killed. And when she was going through all the depression, she went on a tour with Aristotle Onassis, who was a Greek shipping billionaire. Uh, and she went on a month long tour around all the Greek Isles with him. I think they fell in love. Her, her her husband's a cheating piece of shit. You can't divorce the president. This guy's a billionaire. He's like, I'll take care of it. Fucking. A year later, they're married.

[01:06:00] Cat: Dude, I think you're right.

[01:06:01] Dwayne: I don't know, but she was trying to, like, pick up pieces of brain. I don't think you'd do that if you.

[01:06:06] Chris: I think she was

[01:06:06] Dwayne: but she wasn't in on it. You're saying?

[01:06:08] Chris: Probably not. She wasn't in on it. Or she might. I don't think she was in on it. I think I think he was like, I'm a billionaire. I'm gonna get rid of this fucking cheating husband because she's fucking mean to her. And then, like, she may not have known.

[01:06:18] Dwayne: That's like. 

[01:06:19] Cat: He's being a white knight. Like she never asked.

[01:06:21] Chris: The brain was like she was in on it. And then when you see your husband's head get blown off, you're like, oh, fuck, I shouldn't have done that. So she felt guilty and went and tried to grab the brain and put it back in there because she was like, maybe I shouldn't do this.

[01:06:31] Cat: Also, like, you just you never know how you're gonna react. Like right in the moment when something happens, like just instinctually, you're like, oh my God, put his brain back in his head.

[01:06:38] Dwayne: Yeah. That's true.

[01:06:39] Chris: Anyway, that's my. 

[01:06:41] Chris: Fix it.

[01:06:41] Koji: Thank you guys. Thank you everybody.

[01:06:43] Dwayne: All the king's horses and all the king's men.

[01:06:44] Koji: But anyway thank you guys.

[01:06:48] Cat: Bye, everyone.

[01:06:49] Koji: All right. Bye.